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Afternoon Delight: Angelina Jolie to play Cleopatra, Tila Tequila thinks Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift belong to Monarchy of Satan

There’s a general rule of logic I apply to my life that goes a little something like this: If I agree with Tila Tequila about anything, I’m wrong. I think the whole world would do well to adopt that theory, and that means the first person who needs to rethink her posture is Katy Perry. Remember earlier this week when she lambasted Lady Gaga‘s “Alejandro” video, calling it “blasphemy”? Well, guess who agrees with her? Tila Tequila. Only she’s calling the entire music industry “the Monarchy of Satan.”

She went on a Twitter tirade this morning and followed it up with a blog post amazingly titled “Truth: Lady Gaga Amongst Others Turning to the Devil.”

I had a really hard time picking out the best parts, but I settled on these four. [Sic the whole thing]

You would be SHOCKED if I told you which celebrities has the same bloodline as the “DEVIL” God I wish I could tell you more. But for now, i will stop and continue another time.

Have you guys heard the term “SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL” and you get whatever you want? Well that’s actually true, however the “DEVIL” is real. Rihana, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, XTINA, Miley Cyrus, and yes even Taylor Swift amongst hundreds of others who are apart of this allegiance.

I for one, was sent on earth from GOD. To be one of his ANGELS to try to help this world that is half light, and half dark. There is right now a crucial War between good and bad. I am on the GOOD side, and that is why they are always trying to get me.

Forever Yours,

Miss Tila, Angel of GOD.

I hope she draws a chart for us soon, so we can know which celebs are actual descendants of Satan. My money is on Dane Cook and Russell Brand.

  • Have you guys heard the term “MONEY DOESN’T GROW ON TREES”? Well, it does if you work for Summit Entertainment. They announced last night that Breaking Dawn, the final installment of the Twilight Saga, will be split into two films. (Double the KStew, double the fun?) The movies will be filmed together, and part one will hit theaters on Nov. 18, 2011. I can’t wait to see how creepy imprinting is when translated from words to moving pictures. [via Movieline]
  • Have you guys heard the term “ANGELINA JOLIE IS THE PERFECT LOOK FOR EVERY OCCASION”? Well, Scott Rudin thinks so too. He confirmed this week that he is is developing Stacy Schiff’s upcoming biography Cleopatra: A Life “for and with” Angelina Jolie. And while he told reporters that “we have little idea of what [Cleopatra] actually looked like,” he went on to say that “Physically, [Jolie] is the perfect look.” [via USA Today]
  • Have you guys head the term “I WOULDN’T KICK KEIRA KNIGHTLEY OUT OF BED FOR SMOKING A CIGARETTE?” Well, I have because I just made it up. ONTD unearthed some photos of Knightley from a 2007 Emily Hope photoshoot. You’re welcome.
  • Have you guys heard the term “THE TONYS ARE THE GAYEST NIGHT ON TELEVISION”? Well, don’t forget it because they are going down this weekend at Radio City Music Hall. Sean Hayes is hosting and the cast of Glee is performing and it will all air live at 8:00 EST on CBS. If you want to be in the know, Vulture has a rundown of the tightest Tony races.
  • Have you guys heard the term “SOOOOKEHHH!”? If you’re a True Blood fan, I’m thinking yes. I’m also thinking you’re stoked about this weekend’s season three premiere. Well, BabyVamp Jessica just released a new vlog to make you giggle/ramp up your excitement.

Have you guys heard the term “IT’S WORLD CUP TIME, BABY”? Well, it is! So, with soccer (football) on the world’s mind, today’s Afternoon Delight is brought to you by Natasha Kai.

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