The Closet Case
Are you or a loved one questioning your “lifestyle” (I hate when sexuality is described that way) but you/they are not ready to commit to a rainbow tattoo or are too scared to have the entire series of The L Word lying around on your coffee table for everyone to see and speculate about? Then here’s the holiday gift list for the closet case in your life. No pressure, take your time to look around before you decide.
1. Batwoman Sticker. Yes, the modern day Batwoman is a lesbian but first and foremost she’s a superhero. Just because you have a Batwoman sticker on the bumper of your Jeep Wrangler doesn’t mean you’re gay. Or does it? ($2.40)
2. Set It Off on DVD. This 1996 crime drama stars Queen Latifah as a tough sexy butch lesbian named Cleo, but the film’s story isn’t about her coming to terms with her sexuality — it’s about four friends who go on a bank robbing spree. This is not a gay film, per se; it’s just a caper with an extremely sad ending that happens to have some sexy lady lovin’ going on. No biggie. ($4.49)
3. Prints by Gustav Klimt. Austrian symbolist painter Gustav Klimt has created many works of art showcasing women in their naked form (my favorites include “The Friends,” “Danae” and “Water Serpents II”), but if you don’t want to make your questioning friend uncomfortable, how about giving them a print of “The Virgin”? When I see numerous ladies in bed together, I don’t immediately think they are virgins but hey, art is up for interpretation. ($14.99)
4. A Victorinox Tomo Knife. Any respectable lesbian carries a Swiss army knife on them at all times just in case they need to cut their own hair, fix a snowboard binding or escape being trapped in an actual closet. The Victorinox Tomo Knife boasts a colorful, slim, sleek design and has all the essentials any labeled or unlabeled lady would need, including scissors and a nail file. ($19.99)
5. Innerwear from Sloane & Tate. Sheer lounge wear, sexy briefs and sleek see-through tanks by out creators Eliza Ladensohn and Susana de la Rionda. While changing at the gym, a lady onlooker won’t know if you’re gay or straight, but she’ll definitely be curious. ($30)