The Urban Sapphisticate
For that public transit riding, iAnything-obsessed, urban gal on your list, here is a list of the finest accouterments to living life in the city. To be honest, I’m not one to buy holiday gifts. I am of the year-round gift giving school of thought — mostly for myself, mostly out of necessity. That being said, as an urban lady, I’d like to receive gifts that add a little kick to an otherwise mundane lifestyle. That’s sarcasm my friends, we all know living in a city is tits! Go forth and shop.
1. iPad/Mac Book Decals. Have trouble keeping your Mac Book separate from that geek on your Christmas list? Never fear, there’s a decal for that. The best part about Geekals is that it feeds both a love of Geekdom and pampering ones laptop. Mine’s name is Mariska and she is in need of some flare for sure. ($7.99+)
2. Slouchy Hooded Cowl for Dogs. Don’t forget that dog-obsessed lez on your list, and we all know you have one. Winter wear may be an obvious choice as a stocking stuffer for an urban lady, but did you ever think that her four-legged pseudo child would also like to stay warm this winter? This also offers the opportunity for matching outfits, if one is so inclined. ($28)
3. Air quote mittens. Being familiar with the frozen tundra (Wisconsin not my love life), I don’t know how many times I have gone to use some good ol’ air quotes and realized I was wearing mittens. So many missed sarcastic moments that I will never get back. Luckily, this issue will be a thing of the past once that person on your list receives a pair of air quote mittens from Kate Spade. This is perfect for all your sarcastic-that’s what she said spoutin-subzero temp living fashionable friends. Including me. Best gift ever. I’m gonna go ahead and call it now. ($65)
4. Laptop bag. I can only assume that, like me, your lady jams her laptop into whatever purse she happens to be carrying around at the time. Yes, this is when I ask that you keep the femme word to yourself and realize that I am just another lez, trying to comfortably schlep my non-air book around without throwing out my back or dropping it in a snow drift. Pretty much what I’m saying is why aren’t laptop bags more attractive? Turns out they are — and this one from Matt and Nat is both fashion forward and functional, as well as vegan for all those PETA members on your list. Not to worry, my non-purse totin’ lady friends (see also: butch), Matt and Nat have bags for you, too! ($180)
5. Bike. Maybe it’s the Portlander in me, but I’m starting to warm up to the idea of urban biking, mostly because gas is expensive and I hear it’s a great butt workout. That being said, I still want a pretty one and I bet your lady would, too. Urban Outfitters’ build your own bike shop makes it easy to create something that is right for her with more than 100,000 customizable options for The Aristotle Single Speed Bike and The Plato Dutch Bike. All you need to do is pick and choose or get a gift card and let your lady pick the important things. Like color. ($399+)