AfterEllen.com’s 2010 Gift Guide for the Gay Woman

 
 

The Awesomely Into You Anglophile

If your girlfriend is an Anglophile, the best gift you can give her is the swift kick in the arse she needs to never again say the word "Anglophile" out loud again. Sure, she loves British culture and history. And sure, she occasionally drops a perfectly-placed British phrase like "bang out of order" and "you’re getting on my tits" (not a compliment). But if she is going to actually fit in the United Kingdom, she’s got to lose the Union Jack throw pillows and the Keep Calm and Carry On welcome mat. Nothing is more annoying to an English person than an American standing still in the middle of Victoria station in the middle of the afternoon with a full backpack and a look of awe and adoration on her face. Trust me.

Here are five gifts that aren’t tourist tat for your Anglophile girlfriend.

1. Biscuits. Americans and Britons might (sort of) speak the same language, but we do not eat the same foods. How about some biscuits (Garibaldi for the Naomily lover!), or some crisps (Prawn and Roasted Chicken are flavors she’s going to have to learn to love, or some tea. It’s anarchy in the UK if you refuse tea. Learn to love it. ($10 – $20)

2. Books. Yes, a complete set of Jane Austen novels would be lovely (if she doesn’t already own them in various styles from various publishers), but another great gift for the Anglophile are books written by American expatriates with a sharp sense of humor. Bill Bryson‘s Notes From a Small Island and Sarah Lyall‘s The Anglo Files: A Field Guide to the British are a good place to start. Check Amazon.com or your local bookstore. ($30 – 50)

3. Telly. Oh, there are so many queer television shows (series) your girlfriend needs to own on DVD. Bad Girls, Sugar Rush, Skins, Lip Service, Tipping the Velvet, Fingersmith, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. How about downloading Coronation Street and burning it to a DVD for her? ($50 – $200)

4) Routemaster light boxes or bus/train blind sets. Particularly excellent if you’re girlfriend is turned on by vintage gifts and/or transportation. And of course she is: She’s enamored with a country that has somehow managed to maintain its quaintness while simultaneously becoming one of the most powerful, progressive places in the world. ($150 – $500)

5) A trip to the UK. And lo! you will score as you have never scored before. Expedia, Travelocity, etc. ($1,500+)

Heather Hogan

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