The High Maintenance Femme
If you’ve fallen prey to the wiles and beauty of the high-maintenance femme…all I can say is happy holidays and best of luck to you.
Just kidding! I’m not ashamed to admit to being a high-maintenance femme, and for the good of lesbian relationships everywhere, I am here to offer some guidance for those of you who are stuck with the daunting task of stuffing our stockings.
When shopping for your high-maintenance femme, let these two principles be your guide: luxury and romance. No socks, no cookware, nothing practical whatsoever! The high-maintenance lipstick lesbian wants to feel pampered and adored, like the flawless creature of beauty you’ve probably led her to believe she is.
1. High-heeled cake server. Here’s an adorable stocking stuffer for the shoe-obsessed femme. ($15).
2. SJP ornament. I want to decorate my entire Christmas tree in these ornaments, brought to us by none other than Sarah Jessica Parker. If your girly girl loved Carrie Bradshaw, she’ll want one of these too. ($29)
3. Perfume. This gift is tried and true. If the object of your affection is a high-maintenance femme, I promise you can’t go wrong with a nice bottle of perfume. If she has a signature scent, replenish her supply. Or, win some bonus points by choosing something sexy that “made you think of her when you smelled it” (wink, wink). Help your lady stay current with a new perfume like Gucci’s Guilty or Twirl by Kate Spade. ($30 – $100)
4. Luxe skin care. Do you love your lady’s soft luminous skin? Yes? Well, here’s a secret: it takes work to look like that – and a lot of money. So help a sister out! Crème de la mer is a legendary skin care line with a cult following, and with good reason. This stuff is pricey, but it works. ($130 and up)
5. Tiffany handbag. Diamonds aren’t the only thing getting wrapped up in those quintessential blue Tiffany boxes this year. The luxury jeweler recently launched a line of handbags, and I think they are just as cute as can be. There are a number of designs to choose from, but my favorite is the little red number. ($595+)