With Valentine’s Day not until Tuesday, love is in the air earlier than usual this year. Why not embrace it with some valentines delivered from us to those we love? Here are our unrequited valentines.
Mia Jones: I’m not really all that in to Valentine’s Day, but I’m really into my dogs (if you couldn’t tell) and I know Sia is too. That Aussie cracks me up, has given me hours of great music to listen to for any mood I’m in and I know how much she loves her animals too. So, this is what I would send.
Ali Davis: Dear Hedy Lamarr,
You make my heart shout.
Now invent time travel.
Let’s work this thing out.
Heather Hogan: If I could give a Valentine to any celebrity, I’d give one to River Song. TARDIS blue envelope. Linen Paper. An address for where to meet me. And written in Gallifreyan: “You and me. Time and space. You watch us run.”
Trish Bendix: Joan Jett, I hate myself for loving you, but your bad reputation does not stop be from asking do you wanna touch me? Love, your cherry bomb.
Emily Donofrio: Dear Clea DuVall, Time and time again, I choo-choo-choose you. I have been pining after you for 12 long years. Some would say it’s a hopeless love, but everyone knows how the first homo crush goes. it’s a fire that can never be put out completely. I won’t stop tweeting at you and stalking updates via the interweb for as long as I live. If you feel the same way, meet me in the doghouse.
Bridget McManus: I would write a love letter to Hillary Clinton begging her not to step
down as Secretary of State and pleading with her to consider running for President in a future election.
Babe, I love you so
I want you to know
that I’m going to miss your love
the minute you walk out that door
so please don’t go
don’t go, don’t go away
please don’t go
don’t go, I’m begging you to stay
Hey hey hey
I need your love
I’m down on my knees
beggin’ please please
please don’t go
don’t you hear me baby
don’t leave me now
oh no no no don’t go.
p.s. Am I the only person in the world who’s a Rick Astley fan?
The Linster: Oh Katharine! My Katharine! Rise up and hear my plea!
Rise up! for you my blouse is off — for you my belt hangs free!
Twas naught but time that doomed us, that kept our lips apart;
That bade you run to Spencer, though ladies had your heart;
Oh Katharine! Dear Katharine!
My trousers in my hand!
If one more life might draw you near,
Your wish is my command.
Erika Star: After 13 years, admitting my undying devotion to Mariska Hargitay is long overdue. That, and it appears that she’s in the market for a new partner. Mariska, let it be me. I’m not mad about the whole Harry Connick Jr. thing. I mean, sure, I would rather it have been
If that doesn’t send her heart a flutter, I’d send these.
Who is the valentine you’d love to make yours?