No matter how you felt about your own mother, there was always a matriarch on television you felt connected to. Maybe you crushed on one of them, or just wanted her to be the one telling you to clean your room. Whatever the reason, there’s always some TV mom that sticks with you.
Which mom was it for you?
Grace Chu: “I’ve always said it isn’t who you love, it’s how you love. Genitalia is simply God’s way of accessorizing.” — Debbie Novotny, Queer As Folk
Lesley Goldberg: It goes without saying that mom, if you’re reading this, you’re the best. But if I were to be so lucky as to have two moms, I’d want Connie Britton‘s Tami Taylor from NBC’s Friday Night Lights to be the other.
She has the patience of a saint, goes above and beyond for those she cares about, puts her family first and is willing to make the hard choices and be firm when needed. She also knows how to deliver news that nobody wants to hear and would find a way to get this stubborn Taurus to change her ways. She’s unlike any other TV mom in history and, like my mom was, would be amazing during softball season.
Bridget McManus: Carmela Soprano (played by Edie Falco) is the heart and soul of The Sopranos and I love her because I’m also Italian and I have family members just like her (i.e. fun and scary at the same time).
Dorothy Snarker: How has no one said Lorelai Gilmore yet?
Funny, fast-talking and able to keep up with all of your pop culture references. Plus her kid turns out to be an Ivy League genius, so that’s some good genetic material coming my way. Of course, there’s the somewhat awkward situation of possibly also wanting to date your mom. But that’s what therapy is for.
The Linster: Being a tad older than most of my brilliant co-bloggers, I can’t quite imagine someone like Lorelai Gilmore as my mom. But I also can’t bring myself to pick one of the classics: June Cleaver, Donna Reed, Harriet Nelson, etc. Seeing a woman in pearls and high heels while vacuuming the house is just crazy-making.
So, my choice is Samantha Stephens.
Sure, she usually wore a dress around the house, but when she got behind on housekeeping, a quick twitch of the nose would get things in order without the stress. Plus, Grandma Endora was a big ole lesbian, Uncle Arthur was a queen before queens were cool and Gay Daddy Darrin #2 would never object to my cuddling up with Mommy. Best of all, if Sam were my mom, I could do magic. My flexible little nose is made for it.
Karman Kregloe: Lucille Bluth (played by Jessica Walter) on Arrested Development is not the kind of woman I’d want for a mother, but she’s exactly the kind I enjoy watching on television. Grandiose, manipulative and narcissistic, Lucille is not above planting false evidence on her own children in order to stay out of jail and brags about never having made eye contact with a waiter. I’m pretty sure she originated the Bluth family’s shaming Chicken Dance and her arch nemesis is Liza Minnelli (aka Lucille Two). Also, one word: Motherboy.
Heather Hogan: Easiest question ever: Clair Huxtable. Somehow that glorious woman managed to walk the line between tough love and nurturing affection, while having a fulfilling career as an attorney. She was one classy, clever, spunky broad.
And have you ever in your life seen someone deliver a zing with the swift ease of Phylicia Rashad? “And if you don’t get it together and drop these macho attitudes, you are never gonna have anyone bringing you anything, any place, any time, ever! Now, then, what would you like in your coffee?”
Courtney Gillette: For purely comical reasons, I’m going to say Edina (Jennifer Saunders) from Absolutely Fabulous. Would she be the best mother? That couldn’t be further from the truth.
But, you know, maybe when I’ve blossomed into an adult, and the decades of therapy have kicked in, she would make for some hilarious visits home. Plus: if I squinted I could just pretend she and Patsy were my lesbian moms. Isn’t that right, sweetie-darling?
Trish Bendix: As far as I’m concerned, Roseanne was the mom of the 1990s. Unlike the thin, peppy and pretty moms on other shows at the time (and of the past), Roseanne was sassy, sarcastic and ruled with an iron-fist. She was an accidental feminist who lived in middle-America, a woman who provided for her family but wasn’t fond of domestic duties like cooking and cleaning.
She was also non-judgemental, at least when it came to anyone but Jackie. And her exchanges with daughter Darlene always proved hilarious:
Darlene: Nancy’s a lesbian? Did she tell you?
Roseanne: No, we read the, “Hi, I’m a big dyke” bumper sticker on her car.
If only discussions on sexuality could be that frank in every household.