AfterEllen.com Huddle: The best babysitters

For some reason our society fetishizes babysitters or puts them in horrific situations where people are prank calling them from the upstairs bedroom. But we love the people who were willing to watch over others and therefore dedicate this Huddle to fawning over them.

Bloggers, who is your favorite babysitter?

The Linster: Mary Poppins has a carpet bag with a bottomless supply of goodies. The ability to converse with animals. A lovely, lilting accent and an extremely crush-worthy appearance. Magic that can turn a chalk door into passage to a cartoon wonderland and clean the house with a snap.

Practically perfect in every way? I should say so!

Mia Jones: Uncle Buck was the man! He made pancakes so large he had to use a shovel to get them off the skillet. He took the kids bowling, got the teenage daughter, Tia, to see what a creep her boyfriend was and in the end, got the family to all see how much they love each other. Warm fuzzies for everyone.

Dorothy Snarker: The grandfather from The Princess Bride. Not only did he read his grandson a book filled with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love and miracles, he introduced the world to some of the world’s most perfect breasts and the most most passionate, the most pure kiss ever. Read it again, grandpa, read it again! “As you wish.”

Dara Nai: Baseball scout and ersatz farm girl chaperon, Ernie Capadino, in A League of Their Own. A good babysitter keeps their charges safe, (“Hey cowgirls. See the grass? Don’t eat it.”) but a great babysitter will help you with your math.

Ernie: They’ll pay you 75 dollars a week.

Kit Keller: We only make 30 at the dairy.

Ernie: Well then, this would be more, wouldn’t it?

Emily Hartl: Sue Ellen Crandell of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead! I mean, sure, the original sitter was an old hag who was taken out by karma within the first ten minutes of the movie, but Sue Ellen swooped in, copied a fake resume and petty cashed their way out of all kind’s of a trouble that summer. Plus, Kenny got a haircut. The dishes are done, man.

Ali Davis: All my babysitting love goes to Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween. She will bake you cookies and stab a homicidal maniac with knitting needles. Plus she’s the smart girl who doesn’t know she’s pretty. *swoon*

Trish Bendix: Labyrinth is one of my all-time favorite movies, despite the fact it used to creep the s–t out of me when I was little. But Jennifer Connelly, despite, you know, losing her baby brother to the Prince of Goblin City, would have been so much fun. We could have role played and hung out with David Bowie — although I would have avoided the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Bridget McManus: The best babysitter of all time goes to Elizabeth Shue‘s Chris Parker in Adventures in Babysitting. Now I should clarify that Chris was actually a terrible “babysitter” — that’s if you define a babysitter as a person who cares for children when their parents are not home. Rather than watching TV in the suburbs, Chris takes the kids on a late night trip into the scary city to rescue her friend. Once their minivan’s tire blows out on the highway, all chaos ensues. I’m talking guns, knives, car thieves, a man with a hook hand, Thor, the Mighty God of Thunder and a naked photospread of Chris in Playboy magazine. (Chris claims that’s just her doppelganger, but is it?)

No, Chris’s character is not gay but Chris Parker? I mean, come on — how gay is that name? Shue’s fluffy 1980s hair and her amazing phone acting skills greatly contributed to my gayness. Thank you Chris Parker, thank you.

Oh did I mention the outstanding writing?

Chris: Now boys, if either of you give me any grief I swear to God I’ll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed.

Daryl: Raped?
Chris: I’m too old for this crap.

Heather Hogan: From the moment I saw Julie Andrews twirling around in an open field in the opening credits of The Sound of Music, I’ve loved her. And when I watched her make play clothes for the von Trapp kids out of curtains, I started praying that one day she would be my nanny too. She would understand that I wasn’t a cloud to be pinned down, a wave to catch upon the sand. She would understand that the best defense against thunderstorms is cuddling and cheerful music. She would understand that showing off was an acceptable way to avoid bed time. We’d sing. We’d dance. She’d knit me the softest pajamas in the world. And when my own parents were being the worst, she’d help them see the error of their ways. Or we’d just run away across the mountains and make it on our own.

(Full disclosure: I love Julie Andrews so much I own both Princess Diaries movies.)

Courtney Gillette: My all time favorite babysitter has got to be Mrs. Doubtfire. Who knew that Robin Williams playing a down-on-his-luck dad playing a sarcastic old biddy would make such an awesome caregiver? I still think of her anytime I see a lemon meringue pie.

Who is your favorite babysitter?

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