“A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila” Recaps: “I Choose …”

 
 

Dani is up next, and she approaches the task with characteristic good humor. Or maybe she just can’t stop laughing at Bobby’s "rap."

You know you really been f—ing with my head and s—
So I just had to let you know
That this is how it is
In my world …
When I came on this trip
I didn’t expect much
I thought I’d come here with a bunch of sluts
I thought I’d get drunk
And maybe hook up
Who’d a thought I’d fall in love?
Came up to your house for a pool par-tay
And you a pulled a big old trick on me
You told me that you weren’t just frickin’ gay
You told me that you swing both ways
Ah s—
How could you do this to me?
Now I felt like maybe I should flee
Like Lala she just couldn’t handle it
But I’m ‘a stick around
Even if it’s against a dick
And when I’m done
I’m gonna be your number one
Yeah we’re gonna have so much frickin’ fun
And I’m gonna love you
More than these f —s
I wanna be the only one
To rock your world
Lemme show you my guns — unh!

OK, that was pretty bad too. But it was funny bad, and Dani was in on the joke. And Tila loved it.

So now that everyone has seen Tila’s "musician" world, it’s time for her to show her suitors what her modeling life looks like. Which means she’s dragging these two poor bastards into a photo shoot.

Jungle boogie — They put Bobby in a tuxedo and slick his hair back like a Baldwin (think Billy, not Alec), then have him mount Tila atop a pool table. They both get into it, and Bobby likes having his picture taken.

Then it’s Dani’s turn, and suddenly, despite her bomb-ass rapping skills, she’s at a disadvantage. Unlike Bobby, she’s in drag. And by "drag" I mean heavy makeup, a dog collar-like bow tie, and a girlie tank top. She doesn’t look like she’s feeling very studly, and Tila looks a bit bored in her shots with Dani.

I can’t help but wonder how it might have been different if they had dressed Dani in a tuxedo, too. Not only would she have looked hotter in it than Bobby did, she probably would have felt more dashing (think Alec, not Billy).

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