Meanwhile, Dani and Tila have dragged themselves out of bed and down to the dinner table. Dani makes a heartfelt toast to Tila about what they’ve been through together, and Tila starts to cry. Our saucy little lass is also a big squish.
Tila: I’m just so overwhelmed …
Dani: You’re perfect.
Tila: I’m so happy that you’re here right now and … that was so sweet, what you said. I feel the same way, so … yes. Cheers to what you just said! This has been a crazy, wild ride and I’ve been holding it in because, you know, I have a connection with people …
Dani: Is it more than you thought it would be?
Tila: Yes! It’s hard, but I’ve had so much fun.
Dani: I like to hear you talk like this because we don’t see this Tila … It’s been a lot more "Hey!" Jumping on guys, girls, spin the bottle, whatever. But when I look at you, and I look into your eyes, this is what I see. It’s what I like about you. It’s definitely hitting me because this has become way more serious than I thought it was gonna be. I really like you …
They embrace, and that is how you talk a girl into bed!
Black coffee in bed — The next morning, Dani and Tila roll in and have breakfast in bed with Amanda and Bobby.
Bobby is jealous, and his claws come out again. But this time he pouts instead of starting a fight, and it’s a good thing because now it’s time for them to go back to Los Angeles for eliminations.
Say goodbye to Hollywood — Tila tells us that her selection process is heartbreaking "but exciting" because she’s close to finding the person who is right for her. Of course all three contestants think they’re staying, but one of them is wrong.
And I’m happy to report that it isn’t Dani. In fact, she is the first one to be awarded a key and another "shot at love" because she got Tila to "open up to a level" that she didn’t even know she had in her.
Wouldn’t it be cool if the show came down to two women, even if one of them is Amanda?
But alas, it is not to be. Amanda is sent packing. After exchanging one final sexless and wildly disproportionate hug with Tila, she exits the crib, still proclaiming herself to be Tila’s "best option." She works up some tears, talks about her history of cutting herself off emotionally, and I actually feel a little sorry for her.
Not so sorry that I want her to take Dani’s spot, but sorry enough to stop making mean jokes about her. Particularly since, you know, she won’t be around to supply me with material anymore.
Next time on the gripping season finale of A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila: In a horrible mix-up, Bobby wears Dani’s tuxedo and Dani wears Bobby’s dress for a photo shoot with Tila. Wardrobe!