“A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila” Recaps: Episode 1.8 “Welcome to the Family”

 
 

Save the best for last — As if to finally reward her lesbian viewers for sitting through the excruciating Bobby and Ryan vignettes, Tila jets off to Deerfield, Fla., to meet Dani at her firehouse. Dani runs out to greet Tila, and they kiss and hug in a non-A-frame kind of way. Dani’s excited to show Tila off to her firefighter pals who, naturally, immediately love Tila.

But first things first. Where, Tila wants to know, is the pole?! The guys gladly lead her to it and take turns sliding down, just like you would want to do if you ever got to tour a firehouse.

Then Tila gives a demonstration of proper pole technique, and she doesn’t bust her head doing it like Vanessa did back at the crib a few weeks ago.

They watch with admiration as she spins, twirls and slides, and I suspect that they will think of her every time they slide down the pole from this moment forward. I also suspect that Dani will have a pole installed in their home if she and Tila ever settle down together. Wouldn’t you?

They invite Tila to stay for dinner, where they sit around the table together and grill her just like blood relatives would. Well, not Ryan’s blood relatives, but more like the nice kind who wouldn’t think you or your girlfriend’s queerness would be contagious (or a criminal offense).

But the best part is that all of the guys take the opportunity to brag on Dani. They love Dani even more than you randy lesbians do, and they tell Tila that she should feel honored that Dani wants to be with her.

Tila is surprised, but not at all offended. You can see the little (red) light bulb go on over her head. Yeah, she appears to be thinking: Maybe I should feel honored.

After dinner, Tila and Dani head out to meet her biological family, aka The Women. Dani’s mother, grandma, aunt and two cousins are there to greet them, but only Dani’s (male) cousin recognizes Tila from the internets.

In introducing Tila to her family, Dani realizes that she forgot one small detail. She neglected to come out to her grandmother, Pat. So she does it as sort of an addendum to the introduction.

It’s clear that Dani’s charm is inherited (or, as they say where I’m from, "she gets it honest"), because her beautiful grandmother simply replies sweetly, "Honey, Grandma knew." She later tells us with a smirk, "I had suspicions — I wasn’t born yesterday!"

Tila does her standard coming out as bi thing, then asks if any of them have ever felt bisexual. Grandma tells us, "I’ve always been feeling toward the male sex, and never toward the female sex." Which, I’m thinking, is a "no."

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