You’ve had worse things in your mouth — Vanessa marches down the stairs wearing a fake big smile, as if she were a normal person. What’s the good word from Tila today? "I’m an exotic girl. It’s time to prove you have exotic tastes. Are you ready to step up to the plate?" I’m hoping thinking this has something to do with edible underwear.
As the gang marches out to the back yard for their next Tiladventure, Steven mutters, "It’s gotta be better than the pie — oh dear God, what is that?"
Cut to two large banquet tables, atop which are perched skinless cow’s heads complete with glassy, gray eyeballs and enormous fake-looking tongues lolling from the mouths. Did Rob Zombie direct this episode?
Amanda jumps around screaming in her silver lamé bikini, as does Domenico (mercifully, sans bikini — the dead cow head is scary enough!). Dani appears amused by it all, taunting — not verbally, just pointing and laughing — the container full of vermin.
Dani: There was a jar full of maggots and friggin’ cockroaches. The big cockroaches — the come-by-and-steal-your-wallet cockroaches.
Tila is loving it. She tells, "I know they were freaking out and stuff, but I had to put it all in perspective." Cut to Tila making her little speech to her Pepto-Bismol-hungry masses.
Tila: So for my career, my lifestyle, I have to travel the globe all the time, all over the world, and I can’t always have the foods that I want. And I want to make sure that you guys can handle life on the road with me. Under your platter, you’re going to find a bull’s penis and some testicles.
Some testicles? Whose testicles? That statement, Tila, is far, far too vague.
It’s men against women again, and the one from each group who eats the fastest will proceed to the "next round," with the final prize being a private "champagne bubble bath" Dita Von Teese-style with Tila. And, Tila assures us, she’s "ready to get down and dirty."
Tila tells them that they’re going to have to "really man it up this time, literally," and Ryan confesses, "I really didn’t plan on eating a bull’s penis and testicles." Liar.