A Quickie with Paula Poundstone


AE: You’ve said in the past that you consider yourself asexual.

PP: I don’t date. Never did. You know, a handful of times, if ever. Never had that much interest to me.

AE: Well, life is less complicated that way, that’s for sure. But even if you subtract sex, romance and unhealthy, obsessive co-dependency, wouldn’t you like mere companionship?

PP: No, not really.

AE: [Laughs]

[Laughs] No, I really don’t. But I’m happy for everyone else.

AE: Well, at least no one’s mad you’re on the road all the time. Are you on the road all the time?

PP: Yeah. Not right now, but I’m sort of on an endless tour. There is no beginning, middle and end. I just sort of do jobs a couple of nights a week.

AE: Who watches the kids when you’re on the road?

PP: I’m fortunate to have the same nanny for 16 years. But it is challenging. I wish I could evaporate, and come back quickly but, all in all, I think it works out pretty good.

AE: This is the 21st century. We were supposed to have teleportation by now. Someone needs to work on that… where was I? OK. What are your thoughts on the recent events  surrounding gay bullying?

PP: What a silly question.

AE: [Laughs] I know, I know. Work with me here.

PP: It got strange when celebrities were coming out against gay bullying. It just made me laugh. Like you know, as if there’ s anybody who was on the fence about gay bullying. Like, turns out, Tom Cruise doesn’t like it and decided not to flush the kid’s head down the toilet after all.

AE: [Laughs]
Good choice, Tom.

PP: [Laughs] It’s just a silly question because who would respond any other way? I’ve come out in support of libraries. And since then, people ask me about that, as if that’s such a courageous stance. Ya know? I have yet to cross a picket line!

AE: What stance could you take that would truly be revolutionary? One that would make people go, “Yes! Me, too!” and then, they change their middle names on Facebook.
PP: I have no idea. Teleportation.

AE: Perfect. We’ll get to work on that, after we stop bullying. It might be a while, though. The world has no shortage of a-holes.
PP: [Laughs] Right. You know what? It’s the focus on the bullying that’s keeping us from working on teleportation.

AE: That’s exactly what it is.

PP: It’s pulling us down. I never really thought about it until we had this little chat. I see that now.

AE: I’m going to stop right here because there is no way I can top that.

PP: It was soo nice talking to you! Thank you very much!

To buy tickets for Poundstone’s show on Thursday, March 31, or get more information about The Dinah Shore Weekend, visit the website.

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