"Work Out" Recaps: Episode 203

Night at the freak museum — Well, look who's come over to Jackie's new house. It's Rebecca. Jackie just moved, and her house is still almost devoid of furniture. Rebecca pours some bubbly for herself, and Jackie and sits opposite her in one of two stand-alone chairs. They look like they're on a talk show. I think Mimi got the couch in the divorce.

Jackie sticks out one Jimmy Choo strappy-heeled foot at Rebecca.

Jackie: Take my shoe off.
Rebecca: Ooh, I've never touched a Choo before.
Jackie: [laughs]
Rebecca: These are really sexy. I might have to try these on. What size are you?
Jackie: Eight.
Rebecca: Oh, they won't fit. You have such a pretty foot.
Jackie: Thank you.
Rebecca: If I had a foot fetish, I would be in heaven right now.
Jackie: That would be your thing? Now these …

And as she says it, Jackie slips on a pair of pink, fuzzy slippers and rests them on the edge of Rebecca's chair. They are filthy.

Jackie: Now these are good times. You've seen these many times.
Rebecca: I actually think that looks good with [your outfit].
Jackie: Dirty pink slippers? You think it's a look?
Rebecca: I think it's tasty. It's not too dry.

Are we still talking about dirty pink slippers?

Jackie: You mean it's not too fruity?
Rebecca: No, I like it fruity. Is it dry?

Are we talking about Jackie now?

Jackie: Yeah, it's very dry. It's brut.
Rebecca: Ew. I hate it dry.
Jackie: Well, you love this. Maybe you're kind of changing your mind about a lot of things you thought you were going to hate?
Rebecca: Could be …

What the hee-el is going on? Rebecca seems uncharacteristically nervous. Is it because she's starting to get crushy on Jackie, or is it because this is the worst flirting in the history of dating?

The next words out of Rebecca's mouth are, "I think your dogs stink." I want to meet the person who edits this show and shake their hand.

Jackie says matter-of-factly that she never washes her dogs because she likes the smell. They smell like dirty seashells or corn chips. Rebecca offers that Jackie might want to consider her guests once in a while. So naturally, Jackie asks Rebecca if she would be interested in washing her dogs. Please tell me we aren't still talking about her feet.

Thankfully, they are talking about Jackie's two Chihuahuas. Rebecca tries to be the Dog Whisperer, and it works for all of three seconds before the little terror nips at her. Jackie picks them up and carries them into the bathroom.

They give the dogs their baths, and that concludes the evening. Have you ever spent an evening this way?

The night shift — Whenever Jackie is off acting weird around girls, someone is working at the gym. Tonight, Gregg and Zen are on the clock.

Gregg tells Zen he got into a little trouble at a New Year's Eve house party three years ago. Someone said something racist. One thing led to another, and Gregg ended up punching a guy in the face. Too bad he hadn't met Brian yet. Brian could've explained how to storm out of a house party instead.

Zen learns that Gregg has to go to court and wants her to go with him for emotional support. And possibly bring some bail money.

All Zen — who is white, mind you — can say is, "Hold yourself to a higher standard." Well, thank you, Dismissy Elliott. Of course Gregg should not have hit a guy, even if he was a bigot, but unless you know how it feels to be the target of racism, you can't understand how strong the urge is to pummel the bastard. The only thing that's kept me from hitting someone is the knowledge I'm not femme enough to be a prison dyke's bitch, and I can't poop with other people in the room.

Gregg's disappointed Zen doesn't have his back and is being all logical and crap about the law. He tells her his courtroom strategy:

Gregg: If he's going to act like an a--hole, then I'm not going to apologize to him. And that's my principle.
Zen: Good luck.

That's it? I expected more from Zen, frankly.