"A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" Recaps: Episode 1.2 "Fight for Love"

I think we're alone now — As always, there is someone to lead Tila away from the mess and to an available bed, and this time it's Rebecca. They climb awkwardly onto the bed together, barely avoiding getting their high heels entangled, and Tila starts to cry as she talks about the unnecessary violence that is marring her big day of coming out as ("a") bisexual. Rebecca comforts her with a nice, warm, nearly nude hug.

Tila: These are my real feelings, and I don't want to seem like a joke to people because I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve … When you're around so many people and everyone's grabbing at you, it feels even lonelier! Because I'm for real, and I'm looking for someone to be with.

Tila tells the camera that it was nice to have "someone there in that chaos, to have a shoulder to cry on." Then we cut to her kissing Rebecca (and not Rebecca's shoulder).

Then they pull apart and do something really odd: They discuss their kiss. Rebecca says, "Wow, that just made my day," and Tila says that she feels "a lot better now" and that the kiss put a smile on her face.

Who does that? It's so awkward, and I can't imagine this happening after Tila kisses a guy. This is beyond processing, it almost feels like some sort of stunt, designed to prove that the kiss was meaningful despite the fact that it was between two women.

Or is it just me?

Group hug — The other female contestants converge on Tila and Rebecca and talk all at once about how much they loathe fighting and what big babies the boys are. But Tila doesn't pay much attention because she's noticed that whacktastic "Lala" has left the building without even telling her!

Cut to Lala, who tells us: "I don't like associating with guys. Men to me are so icky and nasty and out of pocket [huh?] … I'm not gonna do it."

Tila runs after Lala and tries to convince her to stay, but Lala says she's not willing to slap or get slapped as part of the competition. Tila says the fight scared her too, and she begs Lala to stay. But Lala is not "feeling it" anymore. She doesn't want to be out of her "element."

As we watch Lala hobble away in her white heels, Tila sniffs, "That really hurt me, because I really liked Lala." Tila returns to the gaggle of lesbians and tells them that Lala has bailed.

Though I suspect many of them are green with envy (which of them really wants to stick around and look at Domenico's itsty bitsy teeny weenie skimpy Italian pride bikini?), they assure Tila that they are all cool with competing with guys. Crafty Brandi even tells her that "We are all bi-curious when we first start out," (um, no) and that they've all "been there" in terms of their own coming-out "journeys."

I have a feeling that "there" looks pretty different for contestants like Steffanie and Dani. Call it a hunch.

Like a virgin — Tila tells us, "I know that there are a few girls around here that definitely haven't been with a guy, and they don't want to be around boys …" Cue sweet, innocent Ashli, whom Tila leads to a grassy knoll for a little heart-to-heart.

Ashli is nervous just talking to Tila, and something about that unplundered territory is like catnip to Tila. Her eyes light up as Ashli talks about how much she admires Tila's openness and vulnerability, and I can't help but think there's a special dungeon somewhere in the Lair o' Tequila that is reserved for virgins only.

Later, Ashli tells us: "The thought of having sex with Tila, being intimate with Tila, I think that would be great. Tila could be the one that I decide to lose my virginity to."

If you kick off your sexual career with a Maxim model, where exactly do you go from there?