"A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" Recaps: Episode 1.2 "Fight for Love"

Do I amuse you? — Out by the pool, Domenico exercises poor judgment once again when he sits with Ashli, Brandi and Rebecca and begins to question them about their lesbianism. He asks them if they want to kiss each other, and Brandi snappily tells him, "No, we're not here for your entertainment."

This baffles him, so he moves on to his next ill-advised comment. He tells her that she's dressed in a "disrespectful" manner because her bikini is too tiny.

Note to Domenico: If you find yourself wearing any garment for which the slang terms "banana hammock" or "marble bag" would be appropriate, perhaps you should not criticize the appearance of others. Just a friendly suggestion.

As you might expect, the three women gang up on him about his Italian pride Speedo, telling him that his "package" is clearly small. And then they all point and laugh at it.

Brandi is the woman with the big picture. She says that her goal is to get all of the guys eliminated. "And how do we do that? We use our sex appeal," she explains. "We use our manipulation and cause drama."

Yes, more gender stereotype-busting from A Shot at Love!

Brandi starts yammering at Domenico about how he needs to shave his bikini line, and he gets exasperated and goes into a higher vocal range. Not quite in the dolphin zone like Marcus, but still pretty extreme.

Tila comes over to investigate the ruckus, and when she does, Brandi tells a big, fat lie.

Brandi: He said that you made out with a lot of the guys and you're never gonna come home with a woman.

Uh, no, Brandi, that's what I said.

Tila does not like the sound of that, and Domenico immediately begins denying the accusation. Then Brandi slaps on another layer of bad press.

Brandi: He said, "Are you guys gonna make out?" And I'm like, "I'm not here to entertain you.'"

Marcus capitalizes on the drama by dragging Tila away from the group, telling her, "T.T., this is too stressful."

He sits down with her and begins his sales pitch (he is a spokesmodel, after all): "I'm gonna help you out; I'm gonna observe every one of these individuals — girls, dudes, transvestites, whatever it is in the group, all right? No, I'm serious! And I'm gonna help you out because I'm looking for the same thing. So if we're looking for the same thing, we gotta get together on this, work together as a team."

The look on Tila's face changes from amusement to "screeeech!" And it has nothing to do with his inane "transvestite" comment.

Tila asks him, "Well, what are you looking for?"

Marcus replies, "I'm looking for someone like you!"

Yeah, that's why they call this show, A Shot at Love With Someone Like Tila Tequila. Bonehead.

Domenico interrupts Marcus and Tila to plead his case against Brandi ("I swear I didn't say that!") yet again, and is rewarded for his trouble by being shoved in the pool by Marcus. This is cause for much laughter on the lesbian side of the pool. Steffanie smirks, "You guys are amazing — you're so much more dramatic than we are."

As if to prove her point, Ashley jumps into the fray, coming over to tell Tila, Domenico and Marcus that he hates Marcus. Because we didn't figure that out in the last episode, when they almost came to blows in Tila's front yard.

As Marcus and Ashley play their little game ("You need to step back." "Make me!" "You need to step back." "Make me!"), Domenico climbs into Tila's lap like a little baby, practically sucking his thumb (or nursing) as she coos to him: "You didn't say that, did you? I'm gonna trust you this time."

But before you know it, Marcus has made the mistake of touching Ashley, and the brawl is on. Ashley throws Marcus down on a nearby sofa bed and mounts him (!) while punching wildly at him. Tila has run away from the fray with Baby Domenico, and joins the gaggle of lesbians who are watching with bemused horror.