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"A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" Recaps: Episode 1.1Tila tells us that while most are "beautiful, sexy, hot," there are some "weird" ones. Cut to Steffanie (a photographer from Irvine, Calif.), one of the butch girls, who struts out in a Hugh Hefner-inspired robe. She tells Tila that she's "the ultimate bachelor," and that's when we get some inspired feedback from the non-retarded, non-blind Amanda. Amanda screws up her face and spits: "I think that a butchy girl is so creepy. Good God!" Funny, Amanda didn't seem to think that her butch girlfriend, Mel, was "creepy" when they appeared together on Lifetime's Secret Lives of Women episode about "Lipstick Lesbians" back in June. Women can be so fickle, can't they? It's kinda creepy. The other butch contestant, Dani (a firefighter from Fort Lauderdale, Fla.) comes out wearing nothing but a sports bra and her, um, firefighting britches (do they have a special name?). Tila confesses that she usually goes for "lipstick lesbians," but there's "something about Dani …" Things may just have gotten a lot more interesting around here. Go home! — As with the men, Tila must eliminate five contestants tonight. To make matters worse, these women have to sit around in their "sexy little outfits" while waiting to get the boot. Being rejected on national television is one thing, but having it happen while wearing only caution tape and a (forced) smile is just tragic!
As Tila deliberates upstairs, Amanda tells us, "I have really pretty blond hair, so it would be crazy to kick me off!" Uh, yeah. But someone has to go — five someones, to be exact. And those unlucky five are Scout, Ellie, Chaos, Brenda and Hey Girl Hey (Keasha). One by one, they hand over their keys to Tila. Tila promises the remaining 11 contestants that the next day they will be having a pool party, and they react with as much glee as the guys did when she told them the same thing. Unfortunately, they're all going to the same pool party. The deep end — The next day, Tila lounges by the pool as the 11 male contestants vie for her attention. They flex their muscles, they dance badly, they (unintentionally) re-enact the famous Chris Farley/Patrick Swayze Chippendales bit from Saturday Night Live. And they're all having a blast until Tila calls a halt to the festivities and announces ominously that she "has a secret."
The guys are captivated for a few seconds, until they notice 11 women sauntering toward them in bikinis and high heels (except for Steffanie and Dani, who are, naturally, wearing board shorts). On the other side of the pool, the women approach and size up the men sitting across from them. Dani says, "I thought it was a bunch of lifeguards." Vanessa wonders if maybe they're all gay guys and this is just a "gay bash" (?). Predictably, Amanda says something that gets bleeped and ends with, "Gross!" Tila dramatically proclaims her bisexuality to all of them, and the reaction shots are priceless. Some of the guys look like they've won the lottery, and some of the women look like they want their money back.
Next week on A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila: Domenico wears his "Vagitarian" T-shirt, somebody falls off a stripper pole, and the lesbians turn violent with the guys when a friendly pillow fight goes awry. |
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media
This show definitely scares
This show definitely scares me a little bit.
Very scary indeed
I haven't even seen the show, but just reading about it makes me uneasy.
"Hmm. What would I wear? Wait, why am I even thinking about that?"
That had me laughing out loud...especially, because I was wondering the exact same thing...
Pleasantly Surprised.
I really expected this show to be a lot worse then it is. Most of the stuff I read on this site and others, spent a lot of time bashing Tila beforehand. I've always thought Tila was cute and savvy. I even thought she must be smart to build the empire she has. But that's a hard point to argue when she carries on like an idiot on MySpace and other places. I've never seen enough of "real" her to truly gage if she's bright or actually as stupid as some of the posts she makes. I was afraid this show would be a disaster and ruin the eyecandy element of Tila as she'd be so furiously stupid I couldn't take her.
Instead she was well spoken, funny and fairly clever. Granted she still had a lot of negatives, but they weren't things that you could really outright hate her for. Tila is, a shameless self promoter. Love it or hate it, I respect her for the fame she's achieved off of basically doing nothing. Most the posts I've seen is that people think she's famous for getting naked. That's not really true at all. Most of her nude work was before her popularity and while her website does feature nude photography it's fairly artistic and classy (if any nude work can be)... Not to mention there are a billion other models out there who are a much more typical media friendly archetype of beautiful and they aren't half as famous as Ngyuen.
Point being, Tila's labeled as some big internet skank and that's probably an unfair accusation. She's an entrepreneur who's quite interested in being famous, but not to the point where she'd do half the stuff that a lot of celebrities do. She's simply not a "internet skank" despite what the vast majority of the internet wants her to be (in order to be hip). I was afraid this show would make her out to be exactly that, but thus far it hasn't. This show is leagues above the VH1 efforts, at least Tila seems genuine even if it's only to herself.
Finally and this is just a note to you girls responding about how ignorant and utterly disgusting the guys are, or how poorly represented the lesbians are. The guys are being very poorly represented too. I would never act like that and I can't imagine anyone I know acting like that. Even with copious amounts of alcohol. MTV did the searching for these guys and gals so that's why they are the way they are.
Re-reading this post it sounds like I'm defending Tila entirely too much or proclaiming this to be a great TV show. It's not, but it is fun, fine mindless entertainment. That might even offer some potential for some real emotional climax. The clips for what's ahead looked interesting and I'll be curious to see if real emotions really do get involved in a stupid reality show.
Karmen!!!
Tila Game
Snarktastic.
I laughed as much as this one comment as I did at Karman's whole brilliant re-cap.
Bring on the tequila!
Agreed xD
I somehow doubt that the show can be as funny as this blog though, but I gotta go find out for myself! lol
I read
firefighters britches
Are called bunker pants. The whole ensemble is called bunker gear. Some areas call it turnout gear too.
Lianne, part time firefighter.
i'll watch this
just like i enjoy watching train wrecks and natural disasters. there is something about the absolute crap the put on television and label as reality that i love.
ps-- i love the we're getting nowhere vlogs about antm and i will be missing the south of nowhere blogs until february comes around.
if any of my words dont sound or read correctly, blame it on the birthday drinks and the fact that i cannot sleep.
french fries
has anyone here ever read Fast Food Nation?
it's about how they make the burgers and fries. from ugly start to carefully constructed finish. it's gross. and it really, really makes you want to eat french fries. i don't know why, but it does.
my point is, i wonder how long it took them to put clips of this on youtube. the show. not fries.
now i'm going to go find out.
Try MTV..
can't be seen outside of the
can't be seen outside of the US...
and something as trashtastic as this should be shared around the world. :)
can be seen in Europe on MTV overdrive... - KKAS
Also, anybody having any kind of problems with watching the vlogs: I'm in the heart of Western Europe, on Mac! I never do have issues with it - apart from the veoh thingy everybody struggled with.
YOU GUYS at AE do a FANTASTIC JOB with taking care of all our little or bigger "technical preferencies" - A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!!!!
KEEP the snark up. LOVE YOU.
for the KARMAN KREGLOE APPRECIATION SOC. (KKAS)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone else think that Steffanie (the butchier not firefighter "contestant" of wtf are these poor creatures on A Shot of Teq. called?) looked a lot like the L-word's Shane? We haven't seen much of her yet, but her hair is so Shane!
actio supra reactio // in vino veritas
Bachelor Spawn
I simply had to watch this show because it was more bachelor spawn, and to be honest I can't get enough of that, I mean what's funnier than like 20 straight women competing over one man who mostly goes on his looks, who isn't all that good looking to begin with, and vice-versa? And everybody's kissing on the main guy/girl, uh, ewww.
So, I caught this show, and man was it as bad as I thought it was going to be, and have to say your recap was hilarious, and that's all, I just giggled out loud through it, and the guy with the tea bag, very scummy, that's a hetero posistion I'd prefer to know nothing about.
This show was way more
Eww!
good thing, Tila isn't my friend in myspace......
Teabagging
I haven't stopped laughing at this part of the recap!!!! Karman's complete disgust has just made this article - you are brilliant!!!!
I knew it!
"You'd have to be blind, and a little retarded, not to find her hot. Like, she's unbelievably sexy."
I knew something was terribly wrong with me o_O
Great & hilarious recap Karman :D
I'm with you on this,
I'm with you on this, hahaha. I don't find her attractive at all. Her face seems kind of glossy in this show.
"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."
I second that!
So that's what it is? :P
I'm not attracted to her either, and I keep cringing at some of the stuff she says...
Hey, now I know I'm not alone :D
Agreed
re: I knew it!
o_O
I can't see that show (thank god!)
I think I'd be thraumatized forever o_O but I'd have liked to see those reactions when she proclaimed her bisexuality LOL
And awesome recap Karman, I bursted out laughing more than twice heh
A shot at teabagging Tila Tequila
Ick, I didn't pay much attention to the teabag thing and now as I fully understand it, I'm seriously disturbed. Glad that Tila kicked him out on the first night. And yeah, I also share the pain that she could not kick 12 guys (or more) in a row 'cause bisexuality is about giving equal chance for both sexes!
Funniest comment ever!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
""My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
Just, wow . . .
Ok I admit..
I watched this last night but not on purpose. It was a channel surfing accident and I thought it wouldn't hurt, since I knew the wonderful Karman would be recapping it.
Yeah.. its pretty typical reality trash.. Tila doesn't annoy me as much as I thought she might but every single time she said 'I'm A bisexual' I wanted to scream.
I certainly won't be blocking out time to watch this show, but a channel surfing accident now and then, might occur.
Blind and a little retarded
I guess that's me then....
But all of Karman's recaps are too much snarky fun to miss.... even if the content they are recapping makes you vomit in your mouth just a little while you laugh.
Do written recaps of ANTM to compliment the never long enough to make us happy blogs!
Haha
The recap was SOOO much better than the show...and don't you just love how they ply everyone with alcohol on these shows...I mean, DAMN.
Oh, and Dani is THE only reason I'll be watching this show...thank you.
-SMP-
I was so ashamed....
SHE IS SMOKING (!) HOT!!!!
drooling from europe (thanks to mtv overdrive i can watch this insane show)
This place is evil
Is there an answer?
This world is vile
We are the answer
|killswitch engage|
hey girl heyyy!
me an all my friends are absolutely and immediately OBSESSED with this show!! tila is so funny. the chicks are hysterical/retarded. all the guys are busted, ugly losers tho. anyone watch the new I Love New York 2 batch of guys? hot classy men. tila's guys? homegrown LOSERS. she at least deserves a fair batch on both sides. ...although, the women... well... nevermind. im in love with the blond.
can't wait for tuesday!!
Oh man....
Okay...this was just painful to watch on many levels...but thank god for the website because I didn't have to damage myself any further in watching the male segments...thank god! The female segment...oh man...I think I lost a part of my soul some where along the way...oh well, I will suffer with ya Karmen...even if I cheat and just stick to watching the female segments.
Oh, I lost some brain cells watching...so if someone see's them running around, please tackle them and return them to me.
WOW
I refuse to watch the show,
I refuse to watch the show, but I will continue to read Karmen's recaps. They are brilliant. Thanks for a very comedic recap.
"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."
Please, Please...
Watch this show! You got to...I promise you; it's horrific. You have to bear witness to this display of intentional HORROR. It is so great!
www.myspace.com/blasianbeatnik02
Hey Sportylady!
You took the words right out of my mouth..so to speak!
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
SOOO FUNNY
This show is out of control. I expected it to be really bad TV but was excited anyway.... turns out I was laughing the entire show...yeah its bad BUT IT IS SO FUNNY!
HEY GIRL HEY can't believe she eliminated her....
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there
Caution
I agree completely, Meg. That girl had me cracking up the entire show. I don't know if she was really drunk, really ditzy, or some combination thereof.
Either way, I laughed every time she said, "Hey girl hey!" And that CAUTION tape outfit. Oh. My. God. Hysterical.
I'll tell you why....
...Keasha was kicked off. Its because shes...a lunatic! She was...I don't know... she went beyond wasted, straight into crackhead land.She was funny while she lasted(I still laugh a little when I think about it,"caution...caution", hahaha!), but all good things must come to an end.
This show is hilariously trashtastic! I love laughing at total disaster reality shows. Its gonna be fun. However, I have to say that I am kinda hoping she keeps Dani and the woman that dressed as an angel(I forgot her name) around for reasons other than comedy.
Keasha
haha i couldn't agree more. it's hysterical.
Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you.
Awesome job!
I was actually surprised at how much I liked Tila. And I thought all the girls were pretty awesome. Grace, the girl with the blonde streak down middle of her head is my favorite!
However, the whole time I was thinking "What will Karman say?" And, per usual, exceeded my expectations. Awesome job!
I LOVE TILA!
I'm one of those people who take my myspacing seriously. I never befriended Tila b/c I thought my real friends on Myspace will accuse me of being a fake myspacer and continue to pollute my bullentins with weird chain letters and surveys so I kind of just favorited her and from time to time, I visit her page...with hopeful, lustful eyes and now that she's got this TRASHTASTIC REALITY SHOW...I, from the comfort of my home (well, my Mom's b/c I don't have cable at my apt.) can drool and throw little minatures of Jose Cuervo (the plastics not the glass; it is my mom's tv and I'm respectful) at the HORROR AND GROSTEQUENESS OF THIS HORRIBLY KICK-ASS SHOW. I LOVE IT. I LOVE HER. I SAY TO Tila, "Pimps Up, hoes down."
I can't wait to the next show; I'm like a 5 year old drinking Mountain Dew and eating High Corn Frutose Syrup as A Snack....I'M SO HYPE.
uh, don't tell my friends. Love ya, Karman.
www.myspace.com/blasianbeatnik02
I did it.
Because you were recapping this show, I watched it, sort of... To start off let me tell you I have a low reality TV tolerance. I TeeFauxed it before hand, and ended up fast forwarding it a couple of seconds when some one said something completely stupid. Needless to say, I got through the show pretty fast. I don't think I can stand another viewing, but I can't wait for the next recap.
And lastly, unless you are a male stripper, or playing Halo, tea bagging is pretty pointless.
"Bad jokes are us, ur me."
this show is freakin'
I knew it!
none..
karman, u are great!,, and the only way i'm going to be aware of this show is by reading your recapps,, other wise I will not watch this show,, in fact I think its vulgar..
Skanktastic
o.O
Karman, thanks for the laughfest you provided considering this skankfest :) You rock, girl!
perfect couple or what?
Vanessa FTW
Unlike you, Karman, I didn't find it to be as trashy as I was convinced it would be. Or, rather, I didn't think Tila was as trashy as I thought she would be. First, there was her reaction to the tea-bagging guy (something about lame gifts), then there was her reaction to some guy who gave her detergent and said she could wash her clothes on his "washboard" while he lifted up his shirt to show off his abs (Tila said something like, "You look like a million other people. Who cares?"). And when she threw out the guy who tried to take her top off, I realized that, despite her overall attitude towards sex and sexuality, she actually has some integrity. Who'd have thought that was possible on a reality show?
"Out of the box is where I live." -Starbuck