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The Planet — Ah, The Planet. A group scene. Thank you thank you.

Carmen is talking about how one just doesn't come out in a Mexican family. I kind of grin when Carmen calls Shane "sweetheart." What's wrong with me?

Bette and Tina saunter in, dragging all their baggage behind them:

Tina: "I found it disconcerting, that's all."
Bette: "Why, what's wrong with 'clit'?"
Tina: "It's a little graphic. I prefer that our therapist use more neutral language."
Bette: "So 'clit' makes you uncomfortable."
Tina: "A little, yeah."
Bette: "Well, what about 'cunt'? Do you have a problem with 'cunt'?"
Tina: "It's not my favorite.[sitting down at the group table] Actually, I like 'pussy.'"
Carmen: "Oh, hear hear: I love pussy."

Carmen might not be saying that in quite the same way. All I know is that I'm going to make a CD of Bette saying "Well, what about 'cunt'? Do you have a problem with 'cunt'?" and put it in my alarm clock. I will never sleep late again.

Dana wants to know what they're talking about, so Bette explains: "Well, Tina has a problem with the word 'clit,' which I find somewhat troubling, and she's also not too fond of cunt."

Let's ignore the heavy-handed foreshadowing of that sentence for a moment. Was it not Tina who first spoke the word 'clit' on this show, back when she was peeing on a pregnancy test stick? Or was that Alice? Either way, I'm not buying any of this.

Lara (oh, she has a place at the group table now? and where is Alice?) says she finds the word 'cunt' totally hot, which surprises Dana. So Bette wants to know what words everyone uses.

Shane: "'Pussy' works for me."
Carmen: "Mm hmm. 'Beaver' is also fun sometimes. And I like 'twat'. [to Shane] "I actually really like twat. You know that."
Shane: "I know."

Okay. They're cute together. I admit it.

Tina explains that she grew up in a world of euphemisms, and Dana says she did too. And then Alice shows up and points out that Dana used the word "peeper" when they were together. Well, "points out" is much too magnanimous: what she does is taunt Dana, throwing things back in her face, in a full-on neurotic kind of way. Yow.

Dana and Lara give in and leave. Everyone else is uncomfortable.

Bette: "So what are you on now?"
Alice: "I'm on methylphenidate. Possible side effects include, um, Tourette's."

Snort. I mean, no, this should not happen to Alice! But I'm chuckling anyway.

They all talk about the stress they're under. Shane and Carmen explain that Shane is going to meet Carmen's family, and is going to "play straight" when she does. Shane? Playing straight? Is that like... oh, I don't know: Paris Hilton playing Mensa member?

Yoga — Helena and Alice (huh?) are doing yoga. Alice starts to cry, which I guess is supposed to seem crazy (and sorta does, the way she's doing it) but which I know from experience is also not all that unlikely on the mat. Getting centered can bring on the strong emotions. But what's with some of the people in this yoga class? I can't even begin to critique the up-dogs. Yes, yes, I know: yoga is for everyone, and it's not a competition, and it's not like my own up-dog is all that impressive, but this is supposed to be L.A., right? That's a serious yoga town. No legs touching the mat during up-dog, no no no.

Anyway, Helena's being strangely supportive, and again we can't really understand why because we didn't get to see (a) Alice and Dana break up, (b) Alice and Helena become friends, or (c) Helena get a soul.

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