"The L Word" Recaps: Episode 6.02 "Least Likely"

Jenny's house of foment — Jenny is penning yet another screenplay based on her life. This time, she's not even changing the names.

There's a lot of noise outside, so she goes to the window. Shane is washing Jenny's car, soaping up the chrome and rocking out to "Run Run" by Those Dancing Days. Wow, I wish Shane had betrayed me: I have a stovetop that needs scrubbing and dozens of videotapes to convert to DVD. Who knew remorse could manifest as handy around the house?

Jenny: [calling out the window] Hey, Shane, I'm trying to write.

Shane turns off the music and goes back to washing away her sins.

Bad vibes at therapy — On the therapist's couch, Tasha and Alice are facing each other and holding hands. They're saying things like "I promise to make room in the apartment for your things" (Alice) and "I promise to try to see things from your point of view, and to not talk to you with so much judgment" (Tasha). They giggle and smile at each other and feel very proud of themselves. So proud, they ask Dan Foxworthy for some homework.

Foxworthy: I'm not gonna give you homework. I don't think you two should be in therapy.
Tasha: That's what I said. See?
Alice: We rock.
Foxworthy: You two have so little in common, I really don't think you belong together.

In the parking garage, Alice says what we're all thinking:

Alice: What the f---?

Make sure you read that in a hilarious, exaggerated way, 'cause that's how she says it.

Alice wonders how Dan Foxworthy can really know anything about them after a mere 55 minutes. She and Tasha start to part ways: Alice gets into her Mini, while Tasha grabs her helmet and gets ready to get on her bike. But first she leans in to gives Alice a goodbye kiss. Goodbye? Make that hello! Suddenly they're making out in the Mini, and it's majorly hot.

Trouble is, it's over too quickly. See how important capitalization is? A Mini sex scene = hot. A mini sex scene = carrus interruptus.

Life goes on — At the abortion clinic, Tom has just arrived, and Max is just leaving. They talk as they walk. It turns out Max is already four months along, so abortion isn't an option. Wouldn't his doctor have told him that before he made the appointment at the clinic? Once again, scrapbooking proves inferior as a means of storytelling.

Anyway, Tom can't understand how this happened.

Tom: Why wouldn't your doctor tell you [this was possible]?
Max: I don't know. Maybe she didn't think I was stupid enough to let some faggot f--- me.

It quickly becomes a fight, and next thing you know, Max is slamming Tom against the wall and kicking him (via his crotch) to the floor. Then they just stop and look at each other, not sure what to do with their misery.

Tom: I can't do this, Max. I'm not ready.

Yeah, who is ready for this, really? Except for Barbara Walters, when the next Most Fascinating People special rolls around.

Making a list and checking it twice — Alice and Tasha are making a list of pros and cons, because that's what Alice's mother has done every time she's found herself pondering divorce. Aw, Alice's mother! Anne Archer, can you please make one more guestbian appearance?

Alice tells Tasha to clear the desk. If only Tasha would clear the desk and then push Alice onto it, instead of sitting down to help Alice roll out some paper. Sigh. Another L Word episode, another wasted opportunity for lady lovin'.

Alice puts "Pro" and "Con" columns on a couple of sheets of paper. Look at Alice's enviable office supplies — vast sheets of paper, squeaky markers. My girlfriend has a penchant for such things too, and it's definitely adorkable.

But Tasha isn't so happy with those markers:

Tasha: Why "Con" gotta be black, though?
Alice: It's not a race thing. It's just, um ... red is happy. Red is, like, "pro."
Tasha: No, red represents the devil.
Alice: [after a moment] Fine. I'm writing down "color weirdness."

See how they make pros out of the cons? Sweet. Also sweet is the music in this scene, "Great DJ" by the Ting Tings.