"The L Word" Recaps: Episode 5.5 "Looking at You, Kid"

THIS WEEK'S L WORD VOCABULARY:

Svengali: If you don't know, don't worry — neither does Niki. Or does she?
Fiction: Bette's new mantra.
Bad: What Alice refuses to feel when she's trying to right a wrong.
Brownies: Not gay. But so happy!

THIS WEEK'S GUESTBIANS: Malaya Rivera Drew spins a tangled web; Alicia Leigh Willis brings the drama; Patricia Velásquez deserves more screen time; Kate French does some method acting; Elizabeth Keener is a buzzkill. And the stars of Lez Girls find their marks.

Le Méta — The lucky members of the Lez Girls cast are about to do their first read-through of the screenplay. But first, a roundtable introduction. You can tell a lot about a person by the way she introduces herself, don't you think? It's almost like they're all in character already.

Cammie/Shaun/Shane:

"Hi."

Susan/Alysse/Alice:

"What's up, everybody!"

Lauren/Helen/Helena:

"I just took the most hellish flight to get here."

Bella/Bev/Bette:

"Hello. I'm Isabella. You can call me Bella."

Gretchen/Nina/Tina:

"Can I just say how excited I am to be here?
I think we're going to do some very important work."

Begonia/Karina/Marina: (she's tardy)

"Apologies. I was signing papers on the new loft."

Cheryl/Kat/Kit:

"Y'all just watch out."

Marci/Donna/Dana:

"Hi!"

Greg/Jim/Tim:

"Happy to be representing the dudes."

Niki/Jesse/Jenny:

"Don't think I'm a bitch because I'm wearing my sunglasses inside.
I just got my pupils dilated, which is weird.
But, um, anyway, I'm not being weird. I just have to wear them. Peace."

Let's take a gander at these budding big-screen stars. Gretchen looks nothing like Tina. And Bella/Bev looks nothing like Bette (for one thing, she's white). Cammie looks nothing like Shane, either. But then again, who does? (Except for Sally Hershberger.) And Alysse looks sorta like Melissa Gilbert. And Kat looks like Kit might have looked when she was 15 and in an alternate universe.

So, looks-wise, I can only shrug. But some of the actresses do seem to reflect their roles in other ways: Cammie is cool and detached; Lauren is huffy (think Season 2 Helena); Bella is measured and professional. And Begonia is sensual yet approachable. The only one who rings very false, personality-wise, is Greg/Jim. I remember Tim as mostly affable and befuddled, not twerpy and loud. But, as Greg seems to realize, he's just the token male, so who cares?

BTW, Begonia?! Like Dara did in the most recent We're Getting Nowhere, I marvel at the name.