"Work Out" Recaps: Episode 3.3 "In the Mud"

Next, Brian has the ladies out on the terrace for more cardio, some light hand-weight work and core strengthening. Afterward, everyone's exhausted and happy (to be alive). Even though she's new to gym equipment and Peeler's slamming workout regimen, Tyra grunts, "Yes, yes, yes!" as she tries to hold the plank position to the end of a countdown. Tyra models through it just swell.

Having tasted the flavors of both Brian and Jackie's hard body recipes, Shannon decides: "It's probably a draw. Two totally different types of workouts. Actually, Jackie only made me throw up once. Peeler made me throw up four times."

Client testimonials: the cornerstone of Sky Sport's marketing campaign.

Eat our fairy dust — The next day, at the ass crack of dawn, Brian picks up Jesse, Gregg, J.D. and Plitt, and they all shoot down to the Mud Run at Camp Pendleton. While the girls autograph breasts aboard a cruise ship, the boys will play in the mud and, according to Brian, "freeze our testicles off." A straight man's idea of a good time is different than yours and mine.

Given a choice between the two, I don't know what I'd do. The Olivia Cruise and the Mud Run both sound like sweaty, dirty fun. Hmm. Running would knock the ice out of my drink, so I may have to go with the cruise.

Brian puts a jinx on his day by announcing: "I'm probably going to finish in first. I'm probably going break all the records." Oh, Brian. Hope you brought some beer to wash down those words.

Gregg is more realistic about his prospects when he admits he doesn't do cardio. "The last time I ran 6.2 miles was never," he says unapologetically.

It doesn't matter if you have shoulders like two frozen roast beefs. This one's about endurance. Six miles? My girlfriend could kick all your fuzzy asses. But good luck, boys.

The guys stick together until Brian gets a leg cramp and slows to a walk — in the very first mile. Turns out he did break a record, sort of. Jesse and J.D. decide to go for it and scamper over hill and dale like two gay billy goats. Jesse says, "The theme of the day, I think, was Eat our Fairy Dust."

Former Army Ranger Greg Plitt hangs back with Slow-Pokie as Jesse and J.D. disappear out of sight. Gregg is somewhere in the muddy middle with a newfound respect for all the clients he's tortured on the treadmill.

Teams of girls and old men start passing Brian and Plitt. Finally, Brian gives the losing battle cry, "Leave me, man — save yourself," and Plitt takes off like a shot to catch up to the others.

J.D. and Jesse cross the finish line in just under an hour — a very respectable time. Never underestimate gay fortitude, a strength forged through years of enduring discrimination and Celine Dion.

Orange you glad you weren't there? — Meanwhile, aboard the S.S. Drama Queen, Rebecca and Renessa get conned into participating in some pool games, hosted by the awesome Vickie Shaw, which include some of the ship's more adventurous passengers. Erika, in her Elvira swimsuit, and Agostina watch from the sidelines with the giddy joy of knowing they don't have to play.