"Work Out" Recaps: Episode 3.2 "SkyLab 2.0"

The rest of the SkyLab gang, Micah and Victoria, don't have the massive weight problems the others do. Dr. Huizenga tells Jackie she even has a shot with Micah of getting him some six-pack abs.

He then says that Victoria has a medical condition in her lady parts because obesity also affects the body's hormones. But with weight loss, many of these conditions resolve themselves.

"You're going to become a gynecological endocrinologist," he says. Jackie immediately snickers, thinking to herself, "You said 'gynecological'" like the 10 year-old boy she is.

As a longtime amateur gynecologist, Jackie is well-qualified for this new position.

Lesbians ahoy — Taking all the information she's gleaned from interviews, medical records, sonograms and weigh-ins, Jackie plays a game with herself, matching SkyLab clients with her trainers.

The Grand Master moves her pawns around until she's satisfied she has a winning strategy. It's important that each client gets paired with the right trainer, but holding people's lives in her hands, if only for a few weeks, is also a delicious feeling!

The next day, Jackie takes all the female trainers out for sushi. Jackie sure does love sushi.

Over lunch, to the surprise and delight of the table (and to the dismay of Mexicans from here to Mazatlan), Jackie invites the girls to join her on a cruise to Mexico. Jackie covers her mouth with her hand while emitting an oddly girlish giggle and mentions that it's an Olivia cruise. The others continue to smile innocently, but Rebecca suddenly smells what Jackie's stepping in.

Rebecca: Olivia Cruises? Is that …
Jackie: [to Rebecca] You know what that is.
Rebecca: [to the table] It's a lesbionic cruise.
Jackie: It's a lesbian cruise.
Rebecca: I love lesbians!

You know, there was something nostalgic and intimate about Jackie's "You know what that is" to Rebecca. Rebecca clearly received the immersion course in Lesbian 101 when she hooked up with Jackie last season. I bet Rebecca now knows a bunch of useless facts about The L Word.

But the thrill is definitely gone as far as Jackie's concerned, because she says she hopes some big ol' dykes hook up with Rebecca. Wait — are they all going to prison?

However, that's not going to happen. You're the only big ol' dyke in her world, Jackie.

When asked, Agostina says confidently that she has no problem going on a lesbian cruise — many of her clients are lesbians. Agostina isn't very excitable and mostly hangs back and watches the others with sanguine detachment.

Then Rebecca drops a bomb. Looking at Jackie and Agostina, she blurts out, "Well, y'all made out, so you're sort of on our team."

And by "our team," she means Sky Sport employees who've known Jackie's minty fresh breath up close and personal. The list grows longer with each passing day. Is she physically incapable of keeping her lips to herself?