Your gym membership has been renewed — If you think working out is exhausting, try being Jackie Warner. When she's not up to her abs in self-inflicted lesbian drama, designing her own line of gym wear, or playing "Who's got the biggest balls?" with men who challenge her, she's fending off crushes from housewives from St. Louis and finding ways to work the word "ho-bag" into an otherwise earnest interview with AfterEllen.com.

Before we jump into Season 3, let's warm up with a review of the main story lines from last season.

Jackie was simultaneously dating a woman named Tiffany and fooling around with Rebecca, her fun-loving, (previously) straight employee.

Tiffany has faded into reality show obscurity, but Rebecca remains a trainer at Sky Sport & Spa, where she pines for that old Jackie magic while being paid to make rich people grunt like plow horses.

Former favorite pet Jesse couldn't compete with Rebecca's breasts and lost Jackie's attention. Unhappy about it, he went 10 rounds with his nemesis; words were exchanged, scenes were made, water was thrown. A straight girl and a gay man fighting for her attention — you have to admit, Jackie has charisma.

Not all her time was spent at the gym. Jackie went home to Ohio, where she and her mom resolved some mother-celesbian issues that have plagued them for years.

While visiting her old high school, Jackie is shocked to learn she wasn't the star pupil she thought she was. Apparently, you can go home again; you just shouldn't.

Her intensive training retreat, SkyLab, was launched, inspiring Jackie to design a line of "so cute" gym clothes for it. After a harrowing experience with a clueless manufacturer, Jackie found a way to make her dreams into awesome poly-cotton blends.

Beloved trainer Doug Blasdell passed away unexpectedly, jarring the bitchy, whining trainers back to reality.

Brian saw Doug as the gay brother he never knew he wanted, and took his death especially hard. Suddenly, ego-sparring with Jackie didn't seem so important. In death, as in life, Doug brought some temporary perspective to the circus.

Erika and the other trainers mostly watched the train wreck from the sidelines and tried to stay out of the line of fire.

Read more about Seasons 1 and 2 if you choose. Otherwise, come with me to the gym. I hate going alone.