"Grey's Anatomy" Recap: 5.3 "Here Comes the Flood"

Poop water — There's Bailey. Hooray. She approached the Chief and asks for an update on the flooding situation. The Chief pulls his head out of his rectum long enough to tell her dismissively it's not a flood, "it's nothing" and goes back to re-assigning the cafeteria staff to the burn unit.

Bailey tells her boss about the time her son threw one of his toys in the toilet and she thought it was "nothing” until she came home to several inches of "poop water" in the kitchen. The Chief doesn't like cautionary tales – he prefers the sound of his own baritone – and replies, "I have this under control."

You can lead a jackass to poop water, but you can't make him think.

On another floor, Meredith, Cristina, Izzie and Alex are in an elevator. The doors open.

The entire floor is flooded with several inches of water. Doctors and nurses are scrambling to move patients, save equipment, and the Chief is standing in the middle of the chaos, with his hands on his hips. Bailey begs him to send the patients to another hospital so they can perform repairs the right way, but he tells her to scram. Chief, you're doing a heck of a job.

Nobody likes an Emmy-winner — Alex wants nothing to do with living with her, so Izzie shows the other surly resident in her life, Cristina, the apartment flyer. It's got hardwood floors, great light, across the street from the hospital, and unlike Cristina's current apartment, which she shares with Callie, no ghosts of Isaiah Washington.

Izzie hands Cristina the flyer and tells her to think about it. Cristina is a bit dumbfounded because in her world, people are only nice when they want your chemistry notes or to borrow money.

Full cavity flush — Erica and Alex have a patient on the operating table when a drop of water hits Erica on the head. More droplets start falling on the surgical instruments.

Bailey, who's watching the operation from the gallery, starts banging on the window frantically and yelling at them to move the patient.  Before the doctors realize what's going on, the entire ceiling gives way, sending chunks of debris and poop water all over the surgical team, the patient and his open abdomen.

I hope the Chief is a better liability defense attorney than he is a hospital administrator or plumber, because where Erica sees dirty plaster on the patient's duodenum, I see a house in Telluride, a new Porsche, and a month in the penthouse of the Four Seasons, Bali.

Dear God, why is Bailey not in charge? If you want something done right, you need a mouthy, short, black woman. Everybody knows that.