"Exes & Ohs" Recaps: Episode 1.5 "Pole Dancing and Other Forms of Therapy"

An interview — Last week Jen turned down a big fat check from a woman named Lauren because she found Lauren's body more irresistible than her money. But today Jen's taping an interview with a pole-dancing instructor for her documentary, so I guess she found her shooting funds elsewhere. (Maybe she sold her Complete Works of Shakespeare on eBay?)

The pole-dancing instructor proudly tells Jen and her camera that she stripped her way through college. Showing up at the bursar's office with 5,000 singles is no way to endear yourself to your future alma mater, but hey, whatever it takes, right? She not only got out of college debt-free, she had enough money left over to start a school for pole dancer wannabes.

While a student does something slightly gynecological to a brass pole, Jen asks the woman to address the idea that this kind of dancing exploits women. The woman smiles and argues that it "teaches women to put themselves out there and express themselves in whole new ways." I can think of a dozen other ways to express myself that do not include a leotard and Handi Wipes, but that's just me.

Jen is also skeptical about the Power of the Pole.

Pole Woman: You know, I usually find women that hold back in one area usually hold back in lots of other areas.
Jen: One day I should take a class and find out.
Pole Woman: Well, how 'bout now?

Jen glances at the student, who is now upside down with the pole nestled in her ass crack. Uh, rain check?

A helping hand — Sam is helping Jen set up the reception area for a rough-cut screening of her skinumentary, Sex, Inc. She rushes in late and plops three large sandwich trays down on the bar. Smoothing her hair several times, she eyes Jen like a nervous squirrel. Jen notices right away and comments that three cases of bed head in one week is fairly ambitious, even for Sam.

Sam tells Jen not to worry about her bed status and asks instead about the interview with the pole dancer. Jen tells her about the offer to take a class, which makes Sam guffaw in disbelief and say, "Yeah. Not with a million dollars and Mia Hamm's phone number." OK, but if her husband answers, hang up.

A question — Meanwhile at the ChKrisses, the childless couple discusses the do's and don'ts of a biological father. Chris seems to be leaning toward the A Child Needs to Know Their Father school of thought, while Kris is from the Thanks for Filling the Cup, Now Get Lost camp. It's dawning on them that they might be scrolling through their cell phone contacts for a donor.

A fan — At the Muff-In, Crutch is complaining to Emmy that her new part-time gig as a consultant "blows." Crutch tells her it's frustrating they don't heed her suggestions to give the people what they want. It's been two solid weeks since the squishy muffin meeting and still no change. Apparently they did not teach coma-inducing concepts like "implementation gap" at Bakersfield Junior College, where Crutch spent over a year majoring in "various things."

All Emmy wants to hear is that Crutch has gotten her first paycheck, because Crutch is still showering in the ladies’ restroom.

As Crutch bemoans working for The Man, she suddenly notices a young girl with a strangely full mop of hair and big doe eyes staring at her nervously. Is that Tatum O'Neal from Little Darlings?

Crutch gives her an impatient "What?" Tatum says with awe, "You're Crutch!" Crutch is getting fanned for the first time.

Tatum tells Crutch she heard her amazing music on the internet and adds, "And I think I'm gay, like you." Before you can say "baby dyke," Crutch's face goes from happy surprise to alarm.