"Exes & Ohs" Recaps: Episode 1.1 "There Must Be Rules"

House cleaning — Jen hasn't had a date, let alone sex, in a year. Clinging to the past, she keeps Sienna's stuff in a box marked "Sienna's Stuff." In it are meaningful items such as a saucepan from their last meal together and an old Provincetown sweatshirt. Sam decides it's time for an intervention.

"We used to stay up all night and imagine our wedding," Jen tells Sam bitterly. "That's my cake! I'm not going to stand there and clap while she feeds my cake to a completely different lesbian." Cake envy. Not to be confused with house envy ("That woman is showering in my bathroom"), vacation envy ("She promised to take me to Hawaii") and friend envy ("I knew her first, beeyotch").

Sam's motto: Forget her, it's over. Get laid, have fun. Sam says she wouldn't have cared if Jen slept with half of Seattle after they broke up. After they broke up? They're exes? Of course. Silly me. Where else do best friends come from?

Sam knows Jennifer needs to get back in the game. And what better place to trawl for new meat than at a wedding on a yacht? Jen doesn't want to go, let alone go dateless, so Sam suggests they go together, because she's not bringing Becca. (Sam and Becca are in "taking it slow" mode.)

Jen balks. Unless she's making a documentary about the ethics of therapists dating their patients, I'm not sure why it's so important she watch Sienna and Dr. Emily exchange vows. Sam aims lower and suggests that Jen just give her a ride instead. That seems to do the trick because Jennifer agrees.

Wedding Balls — Jennifer is wearing jeans and Sienna's P-town sweatshirt when she pulls up to the wedding yacht. She opens her car trunk and starts loading Sam up with the gifts she bought. For someone not going to the party, she sure spent a lot of dough. Nothing says "I'm over you" like overcompensation!

Crutch runs up to Jennifer and sticks a video camera in her face. Anything you want to say to the happy couple? Gah, I hate that part of attending a wedding almost as much as having to dress up. Jen looks like a deer in the headlights and pushes Crutch away.

Jennifer follows Sam onto the yacht with more presents and puts them on the gift table. As she's leaving, Sienna sees her.

Sienna: Thank you so much. I knew you'd come.
Jen: I … uh … actually, I can't stay. I just came to drop off some gifts. [pulls at her ratty sweatshirt] That's why I'm dressed like this.

A deckhand mistakes Jen for a crew person and passes her a tie line. She absentmindedly starts coiling it.

Jen: Don't get me wrong, though. It's not like I don't want to be here … I'm really happy for you … You two have a great wedding.

Having said her piece, Jen turns to make her awkward exit. She looks down. Water. The ship is pulling away from the dock. "I'm so delighted you can stay," Sienna says sarcastically. Jump, Jen, jump!