"Exes & Ohs" Recaps: Episode 1.1 "There Must Be Rules"

Jennifer describes Pierced Girl as a date, but Sam corrects her — it was just sex.

Jen: C'mon. What if she turned out to be someone you could actually like?
Sam: Baby, save it for someone who isn't always at the start of a relationship.
Jen: Sienna and I turned out great.
Sam: Jennifer, you're both in therapy.
Jen: Exactly. We saw a problem; we're dealing with it. And we're better than ever. Emily's totally saved us.

As they talk, Sam strips down and wraps herself in a towel. There's no full frontal, though. That would be that other show about a group of lesbian friends. This first episode only offers a partial back-al.

Sam's perfectly happy with her hookups. She doesn't have a taste for the flavor of commitment like Jen does. All Sam asks is that Jen not do that thing lesbians are famous for: sharing feelings until there's no more oxygen in the room. Jen laughs because she's light-headed.

As they make their way to the sauna, they pass a cute blond woman by the showers. Sam gives her a blatant head-to-toe once-over. Blondie smiles. Where is this gym and how do I join?

Jennifer wants to know if Sam is "doing" her too. She informs Jennifer that Blondie and her girlfriend broke up for the fifth time and therefore is fair game. Sam explains her Breakup Rule: After four breakups or six months apart, the relationship is dead. My Breakdown Rule: after four breakdowns or six months in the shop, your car is dead. (My longest relationship was with my car.)

Jen and Sam continue their conversation in the steam room. Sitting on the wet tile, Jennifer says she's doesn't need any silly rules; she has Sienna. I consider that foreshadowing, because any girl named after a pigment is bound to be trouble. Just then, they hear the sounds of soft giggling and lip smacking somewhere else in the mist-filled room. Sam smiles slyly — that's hawt. Jen rolls her eyes, but after a minute, she can't help but look.

Through the steam, Jen can see two women, sort of. A dark-haired woman is nibbling beads of condensation off the nape of the neck of a redhead. They caress each other playfully. The redhead tilts her chin back, her face a mask of pleasure. Why do I suddenly feel like a lesbian Danielle Steel?

After few seconds, Jennifer's eyes widen. Her jaw drops. She says to the redhead, "Sienna?" Again, where is this gym and how do I join?

Sienna: Jennifer?
Jennifer: I thought you were supposed to be at therapy with … [the dark-haired nibbler turns around] … Dr. Emily?

Yipe. As if being naked in a room with other people didn't make Jen feel vulnerable enough.