Bad Girls Recaps: Episode 3.16 "Coming Out"

The library — Ah, the library. These walls have seen so much of Helen and Nikki's relationship: from flirting and curiosity to kissing and cuddling to jealousy and bitterness. And now they're seeing panic and unraveling.

Nikki: Barbara will lie for us. Say that I put her up to it. The fantasies of a sex-starved con.
Helen: The whole reason I came into this job was because I believed that I had principles.
Nikki: Well, you have! That's why you can't leave!
Helen: No, that's why I can't ask an inmate to lie for me.
Nikki: That's the least you can bloody well do.
Helen: No, Nikki. It's no good. Fenner has got far too much over me.

It seems wrong to say so, but Nikki is lovely when her heart is breaking.

Nikki: [pacing] Why does his luck hold out every bastard time?

Helen steps softly behind her, and although we can't see anything for certain, I think she puts a hand on Nikki's back. I base this supposition partly on Nikki's shallowness of breath and continued agitation.

Helen: Hey. Pretty soon, you're gonna be out of all this too.
Nikki: That still leaves everybody else stuck in here with Fenner, doesn't it?
Helen: The best way you can get him is by winning your appeal.
Nikki: [panicking] What if I don't? What if they send me right back here?
Helen: You mustn't think like that.
Nikki: Knowing I'll never see you again ... I know we're only friends, I know that. But you were always more than someone I just fancied. You were my hope.
Helen: Shh, Nikki ...
Nikki: How can I face another 10 years in this place with no hope? [crying] I can't help feeling it's all my fault ... if you'd never met me, if we'd never got involved ... I kept letting you down.

Oh, Nikki. You've done nothing, and if you have, we all forgive you!

Helen takes her by the shoulders and tries to get through to her.

Helen: Listen. You've gotta forget about me and focus on your future. Come on, promise me.

And then that f---ing idiot Dr. Waugh interrupts. Again.

Helen: No, it's OK. I've gotta speak to you anyway. [after he leaves] Goodbye, Nikki.

Now my heart is breaking, and it's not even a little bit lovely.