Bad Girls Recaps: Episode 3.14 "Standing Up"

Vile — Fenner is flirting with Maxi Purvis. Why is she wearing a Harry Potter shirt? Maybe it's meant to be Shazam or Kiss or something. Or just satanic, like she is.

Around the corner in Vile Flirting Town, Helen is giggling at something Dr. Waugh has just said. She sees Fenner walking by with his hand on Maxi's back and springs into action, not unlike Shazam.

Helen asks another guard to take over the prisoner escort duty (Maxi was at the back of a larger group) and waits for the officer and cons to move out of earshot.

Fenner: Something wrong, Helen?
Helen: [seething] Perhaps you can explain why you feel the need to manhandle the prisoners.
Fenner: [innocently, looking at the Doc] I wasn't aware that I was.
Helen: You know the rules. I will not tolerate overfamiliarity with the prisoners.
Fenner: [stepping closer] And that's an accusation, right? I was showing the girls back on the wing. If you think you saw something different —
Helen: I know what I saw.
Fenner: Well, let's get a second opinion, then, shall we? Dr. Waugh, did you see anything?

If only Thomas really were a deer in the headlights (and I were behind the wheel, about to mow him down).

Thomas just sort of shifts on his feet and doesn't say anything. Helen looks like she'd like to mow him down too.

First of all, Thomas, you're an idiot. Stand by your woman, especially when she's fighting the forces of evil! This should reveal your uselessness. On the other hand, maybe we can't really blame him — this must be an entirely new experience for him, to see Helen so indignant, so fierce, so passionate. She's been a good girl and a rule-following zombie since he met her, so it's only natural that he would be completely confused.

Fenner just walks away, vindicated. The scene changes before Helen can rip Thomas' head off.

Mealtime — Julie J. brings Virginia some food. Virginia thanks her and says there will always be a space for the "two Trudys" in her establishments. Wow, how many noms de plume (noms de pimp?) do they have? You gotta have a gimmick, I guess.

Nearby, Big Gay Al and Buki are having an arm-wrestling contest. Buki tells a tall tale about her heady arm-wrestling days, when she was asked to compete in contests worldwide. Yeah, and Big Gay Al was a celebrated dialogue coach.

Also nearby, Tina marvels about how "dead glamorous" Virginia is. Dead cadaverous, I'd say, but whatever works for you.

Maxi: Fancy her, do ya?
Tina: It's just ... I always feel such a mess somehow.

Maxi says that's because Tina's bulimic — only she "forgets to throw up after." Gah, with family like that, who needs enemies?

Elsewhere, Shaz whines to Crystal about getting picked on so much. Right on cue, Big Gay Al shows up and takes Shaz's tray from her, and says something I can't decipher.

Shaz runs off as touching music plays in the background. It's like an after school special. They'll take her lunch money so many times, she'll end up doing angel dust and jumping out a window.