"Bad Girls" Recaps: Episode 3.11 "Battle Lines"

A failure to communicate — There's a new inmate on G Wing. Her name is Femi, and she doesn't understand much, if anything, of what the two Julies are saying to her in the breakfast queue. Seems she has six kids back in Nigeria and cries for them every night. Nikki is outraged, simply because Nikki has a good heart and cannot abide injustice. We knew that, but we haven't seen it in a while, what with all the moping and pining.

Nikki: Good to know there's another dangerous criminal off the streets, eh?

Wouldn't Nikki and Yvonne make a great couple? Well, not as great as Nikki and She of the Cleavage Collage.

Oh, it's time for some other newbies — those kids who were yelling at the end of last week's episode. They are Maxi Purvis, Tina Purvis (yep, they're sisters) and the very butch Al McKenzie, and they call themselves the Peckham Boot Gang. Maxi is their leader, and she's kind of scary even when she's just standing around.

And Al's Scottish accent (which is pretty much the opposite of Helen's, in that it grates the aural receptors instead of caressing them) is almost incomprehensible to American ears. I'll do me best.

I'm ashamed of myself — I just spent several minutes rewinding seven seconds' worth of Helen clomping down the stairs. I can't help it; that green shirt is very fetching!

Helen has some news for Charlotte, the posh girl: She's being transferred to an open prison near where her parents live. Seems dear old dad has taken pity on her after all.

Shaz: That ain't fair. Why can't I be moved to an open prison?
Buki: Uh, 'cause you're a mass murderer, stupid.

Snicker. Poor Shaz, though; she must really miss Denny. How long are Blood and Dockley going to be off the show, anyway? I'm starting to miss the psycho and her pup.