"Bad Girls" Recaps: Episode 1.6 "A Big Mistake"

The officers' lounge — Jim and Sylvia are grudgingly polite through clenched teeth when Helen arrives. Nothing new there. They tell Helen that everything's been running smoothly in her absence.

Helen starts rifling through the filing cabinet (apparently this is a combination lounge and office), so Sylvia asks if she needs help.

Helen: I'm looking for Nikki Wade's file.
Fenner: Any particular reason?
Helen: I want to review her sentence plan.

Clearly I'm not up on British lingo. I had no idea "I want to review her sentence plan" was code for "I want to make her mine and build my life around her."

Jim and Sylvia say there's nothing to review. So Helen changes the subject and asks for the reports for the last three weeks.

Jim: I'll get them to you by Friday.
Helen: Today'll be fine.

Hee! Fenner looks properly scolded.

Meeting Jessie — Dominic is talking to the new inmate who's shaking and delusional. Her name is Jessie Devlin. Dominic is very gentle with her. Jim, on the other hand, swoops in and says Jessie looks like she's been "dug up." Lorna seems to find this funny. I don't like you anymore, Lorna.

Dominic takes Jessie to some sort of holding cell. As they walk down the hall, other women hiss through the slots in their cell doors. It's almost like that scene in The Silence of the Lambs where Clarice walks by all the crazy killers. Except, well, this scene probably cost about 1/100th as much to film.

Jessie doesn't want to be on her own, not without a drink. Dominic says he can't help her, so she attacks him. She eventually collapses, so they put her on a horrible mattress that's fermenting on the floor. Dominic tells Jessie the cell is the best place for her, and she promptly pukes on him. Jeez, Dominic, no wonder you want to quit.

Asking for help — Zandra asks Lorna to help her contact Robin, her ex. Zandra can't even get through to his parents. Lorna just tells her to put Robin out of her mind. But Lorna looks like she herself has quite a lot on her mind whenever Zandra is around.

The ones who care — Helen and Dominic are chatting about Jessie Devlin. Dominic says Jessie has a history of alcoholism and manic depression and needs better care. Helen says at least Larkhall is something.

Dominic: No, it's nothing. Look: You might be helping. All I'm doing is mopping up the mess.

Helen starts to try to reassure him, but she has an appointment. She suggests they go to the pub sometime.

Dominic: What are you gonna do? Ply me with alcohol, get me to change my mind?
Helen: I hadn't had you marked down for that cheap.

Here's something, Helen: I'm even cheaper. All you have to do is speak the word "pub" — or any other word that strikes your fancy — and I'll be drunk on your accent.

Dominic agrees to meet Helen at the pub on Friday. Who wouldn't?

Facing her demons — Jessie is having DTs. She's shrieking and seeing faces in the wall and hearing voices, and she has wet herself. This show is one big public service announcement for the dangers of all kinds of substance abuse.

Reviewing her sentence plan — Helen and Nikki are meeting in their favorite little romantic spot, otherwise known as Helen's office.

Helen: You used to run your own business. What did that entail?
Nikki: [shrugging] Hiring. Firing.
Helen: And what do you do to keep busy now?
Nikki: Gym. Gardening. Usual stuff. You know.
Helen: Are you not interested in education classes?
Nikki: Well, there are only so many macramé plant hangers you need in one lifetime.
Helen: I'm talking about the Open University.
Nikki: Look. In 10 years' time, I'll be a 43-year-old ex-con with a general studies degree. Companies'll be crying out for them, won't they?
Helen: I'd like you to think about it. Please? As a favor to me?
Nikki: OK. For you.

I'm going to dissolve into a puddle of goo. Why is this so sweet? Is it because it's in such direct contrast to the horrors of prison life? Or is it because these two actors really know how to play smitten? Probably both. All I know is that Helen is openly flirting with Nikki, Nikki is openly flirting right back and I'm openly gaping at the screen.

When Nikki says, "For you," it's almost like she's just offered up her wedding vows. She's taking this pretty seriously, Helen. Don't toy with her, even if she is inexplicably wearing flip-flops!