America's Next Top Model : Cycle 7 Recaps:
Episode 8 “The Girl Who Breaks Down"
by D. Yueh
Some More Peanuts, Ma’am? — My humblest apologies, Top Model fans, for not getting this recap to you sooner. One thing I learned while trying to fly home from Boston is that Mother Nature doesn’t give a poo if I have a deadline. I also learned that sometime in the third hour on the tarmac, the Sky Mall catalog becomes good reading. Slippers with headlights built into the toes? Remote-controlled robotic sharks? Yes, there’s something for everyone on your list this holiday season.
Losing Her Religion — Anyway. This week, Michelle is still wondering how much she wants to win this thing. Just last week, she couldn’t hide her ho-hum attitude about modeling, and it put her in the bottom two alongside that personification of confidence and maturity, Anchal. Thankfully, Tyra and the gang gave Michelle one more chance, and Anchal was sent home to the sheltering arms of her parents.
Holding a confab while riding home in their rolling disco, Moby Escalade, the remaining girls conclude it was Anchal’s naiveté that got her bumped off last week. I’m thinking it was more her relentless whining and inability to perform simple tasks without having a meltdown.
Michelle flat-out admits she doesn’t really want to model. Amanda plays the worried sister. “I was really nervous, because I actually thought my sister was going to go home [last week],” she confides. All 30 miles back to Anaheim.
I honestly don’t know why these two adolescent giraffes are still hanging in there. Are the twins really beautiful? Like Roombas and cornrows on white girls, the novelty is going to wear off eventually.
Tyra Mail — Michelle reads, “If you think I act a fool, wait ’til you meet my girl.” I’m on the edge of my seat. But before we get to that …
OD’ing on Estrogen — As if one could … “I miss my boyfriend,” Jaeda says anyway. She’s sick of being in a “house of chicks.” The only consistent male contact the girls have had in weeks are the limo driver and, I’m guessing, a majority of the camera crew. Reversing the genders, I get it. A world without women would be like a world without sunshine. And cleavage.
Is it Valentine’s Day or something? The girls are sitting around the house making homemade paper hearts with kisses. Maybe they’re for the driver, who by now is starting to look like one sizzling slab of man hunk?
In the Hot Tub — Night has fallen and CariDee, Michelle and Amanda are hot tubbing under the stars. CariDee advises Michelle, “ Just because you’re a model doesn’t mean it has to be your dream.” Good point, but it’s hard to take her words of wisdom seriously when she’s wearing a bright yellow restaurant napkin on her head.
CariDee says, “For them, it’s all an experience. For me, it’s a dream, and I really want this. I’d hate to have to go home and have someone who doesn’t want this stay.” If Tyra has proven anything, it’s that she is looking for determination.
Woody Allen once said, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” Then again he also said, “Soon Yee, cut school today and I’ll show you the deleted scenes from Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Too Afraid to Ask.”
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