Gen X queers like myself cut their teeth obsessively quoting lines from Sandra Bernhard’s seminal show Without You I’m Nothing, a 1988 off-Broadway hit later immortalized as a live album and a 1990 indie film. Her brash role as an obsessive Jerry Lewis fan in the cult 1983 flick The King of Comedy first put her on our radar, but it was Without You I’m Nothing’s showcasing of Bernhard’s bombastic, comedic, and intellectual blending of pop culture references, childhood confessions (“My Father’s a proctologist, my Mother’s an abstract artist--that’s how I view the world”), kick-ass sound stylings (a sexy Sapphic take on “Me and Mrs. Jones” and "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"), and rages against the televangelist machinery trying to quell the gay beat that put her forever on our map as a creative force worthy our devotion.

She also played one of the first explicitly bisexual characters on primetime TV--Nancy on the hit 1990s comedy Roseanne--and guest-starred on the second season of The L Word.

When I first approached Bernhard in late July 2005 about doing an interview to coincide with the 15th Anniversary DVD release of Without You I’m Nothing in August, neither she nor her publicist were even aware of its impending release. Despite her non-involvement with the dvd (Bernhard was never even contacted to contribute any extras--commentary, archival footage, or cut scenes), she graciously took time over the phone from her New York home to reminisce with me about this career-making show, that turned her from relative unknown to iconoclast.

AfterEllen.com: The Without You I'm Nothing DVD is finally out, and unfortunately there are no extras on it.
Sandra Bernhard: They never even told me this fucking thing was coming out, that’s because the company went bankrupt and they probably just swallowed up all these like you know acquisitions and didn’t want to sink any money into ‘em so they’re just putting it out, period.

AE: Does stuff that got cut out that is actually stored somewhere?
SB: Yeah, of course, I’m sure the shit’s out there.

AE: It’s in a vault somewhere?
SB: Yeah. It’s fucked, but what are you gonna do.

AE: Watching it now I was thinking, it was a really, really, really brash show.
SB: Yes.

AE: If you’re going to recap WYIN, what would you say about that show?
SB: I think above all it was probably like a major statement on the state of sexuality in our culture and kind of where I stood in doing an overview of it, as opposed to like, making some big statement about myself, just being a part of the introspection of it all.

AE: In one of the musical numbers you talk about hooking up with a guy and you say something like don’t just use one condom, use two, and bring all your spermicidal jams and jellies--so at that time there was definitely more focus on AIDS awareness and protection and we’ve kind of faltered in that way now.
SB: Well yeah I think a lot of things are affecting people. I think they don’t see the visual damages of AIDS--here in America anyway--because of all the drugs that have helped people keep it together and I think people are just kind of like if they don’t see it, it doesn’t, it’s not a constant reminder, they don’t stay in that state of like not wanting to go there, so they get kind of lax and lazy.

AE: So what’s changed from Without You I’m Nothing to now?
SB: Well, you know, everything evolved from then and from that--doing that first show that had so many different elements to it just kind of set up a wonderful platform for me to be able to do it over and over again and do work and make statements that I couldn’t do anywhere else through other people’s work. And it’s afforded me that luxury over the years of continuing to have an audience that comes to see me and wants to hear what I have to say and my point of view.

AE: At the end of the movie you quote Patti Smith, “I may have not fucked much with the past but I have fucked plenty with the future.” And I was thinking that watching you as a 35 year old doing it, you hadn’t really done that yet, but now looking back over 15 years, you really have affected the future…
SB: …Right…

AE: …as far as just a queer presence out there. How do you feel about that?
SB: That was not my intention, you know. It happened through what I was living and experiencing and seeing around me, it had that impact because it was real. It’s like Roseanne talking about being a domestic goddess--I mean she came from living in a trailer and was this struggling housewife, so when she turned that into a show, it resonated true to the country ‘cause it was true for her. And in the same way that I was talking about sexual issues and sexuality and emotional issues, they rang true to people because I was experiencing it not only personally but just in observation of the times and turning them into entertainment.

AE: Has it changed for you as far as having a reputation--a reputation for better and for worse--does it change what you do in your shows? Do you feel like you ever have to censor yourself in ways that you maybe didn’t before.
SB: No. Not at all. Not at all because I constantly keep up with myself and the times and I really live in the world--you know I don’t live in this kind of detached, celebrity fantasy. You know it was really funny, I was just at Whole Foods here in New York and ran into what’s her name, Howard Stern’s sidekick?

AE: Oh Robin.
SB: Robin.

AE: I love Robin.
SB: I love Robin. And we're both like, “Oh my God.” And she goes, “You shop here?” And I said, “Yeah, no shit.” And we were laughing, so it was just funny because I’m at Whole Foods like three times a week. I’m just like out in the world, you know I’m walking down the street and I’ll look up and somebody will be looking at me and smiling and I’ll look back and kind of smile back ‘cause it’s like I know, you wouldn’t expect this, this is funny.

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