Vanessa Abrams, Gossip Girl
Why Not: Because it will start with creeping through your bedroom window in the dead of night and turn into drugging your ex-girlfriend and framing her for terrorism.
Jenna Maroney, 30 Rock
Why Not: Because you’ll always be a non-famous to her. And because she’ll never know how to use the Internet.
Ellie Torres, Cougar Town
Why Not: Because her idea of a fun afternoon is seeing how many times she can make you cry.
Nancy Botwin, Weeds
Why Not: Because first it’s weed, and then it’s extortion, and then it’s murder. The brownies would be good. The homicide would not.
Kalinda Sharma, The Good Wife
Why Not: Because an international woman of mystery is sexy as hell, until she’s destroying your car with her infamous baseball bat.